My dad died. I haven't seen him for many many years, but I still feel this intense grief. I feel sad for what could have been and especially for him, dying all alone. He was an alcoholic, and my childhood, which did have some happy times, had many bad ones as well. It's going to take some time I think to process all these feelings. I'm still feeling shocked. I really felt like a drink last night, but I managed to abstain. It wasn't the answer. After all, alcohol is what ruined my fathers life. How was having a drink going to help?
I'm going to need to blog about this in more depth, I just can't do it now. Not while everything is so fresh in my mind.