Thursday, 2 October 2014

Feels good to be back

It felt great to wake up hangover free this morning. I was tired because we had a late-ish night and dh was snoring, but that was ok. We drove up to the snow today. We were told that there was still a lot left up there so we thought seeing as it's only a couple of hours away from mum's place we might as well go and show D how wonderful the snow is. We did take him a few years ago but he couldn't really remember it and now that he is nearly 8 we thought he'd have a great time. There wasn't as much up there as we thought there would be but there was enough to make a snow man and to have a snowball fight. It felt so good to be in the fresh, crisp air and to experience the stillness of the mountains. It was good actually that it wasn't the winter when there is heaps of snow because it would have been a lot busier. This way, we had our patch of snow almost to ourselves.

On the way back we stopped into a camping site (where we've also been before when D was younger) and had a snack. It was amazing because there dozens of kangaroos grazing in the grass and  lot of the mums had joey's in their pouches. They were so close! It was a wonderful site. We are so lucky to be close to all that nature here in mum's country town. We really take it for granted sometimes.

So a wonderful but tiring day! When we were on the mountain in the snow I was trying to imagine if the experience would have been better if I'd had a glass or two of wine. And I can honestly say that it wouldn't have been. We had a great time without it. I was on a natural high from the lovely fresh air and watching the excitement on my son's face as he aimed a snowball at his dad and put the carrot on the snow mans face.

I'm looking forward to going home tomorrow. As much as I love mum it's been exhausting these last 5 weeks since she had her operation. I find myself getting impatient with her and snapping at her, which isn't nice of me at all. I want to be a nicer, more patient person and I'm hoping that that will happen as I begin to relax into sobriety again.

A x

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Day 1... yet again

So, day 1... again.  It's been a while between posts. Too long probably. Maybe if I'd blogged more often I wouldn't have fallen off the wagon. I made it to 31 days last time then just stopped. I could go on and on about how difficult things had been and how stressed I was with mum having her operation and then staying with us for 2 weeks, and whilst it would be true, it would be no excuse. I just decided that I wanted to drink. After all the recent stress I deserved it. This is a warped way of thinking I know. Pouring booze down my throat is hardly a reward. But 31 days was pretty good I thought. I just have to work harder and not get complacent again.

I am currently in the country at mums. She's recovered pretty well from her surgery and we will be leaving for home in a couple of days. I'm hoping things will get back to normal then and I can get back into my own routine and blog on a regular basis. I love listening to the Bubble Hour but I haven't been able to do that here, so I'm looking forward to that. I've started reading Jason Vale again and have also bought Allen Carr's book. So I'm hoping they will help. I need to start taking care of myself now. I need to be a bit selfish I think and concentrate on my own health for a while.

So, another new start. I will try and post again tomorrow.

A x