A new week

Day 7.

Well, I survived the weekend! There was only once instance where I felt a little longingly for a glass of wine. We popped in to see my parents-in-law and the first thing they asked me (as they always do!) is if I'd like a nip of Bailey's. Normally I would have one or two. But I said no thank you without offering an explanation as to why I was abstaining. Then I was offered a glass of wine... I said no to this also, but just for a moment I could taste that first cold sip and I missed it. But I didn't let myself think about it for too long. I just had to tell myself "no, you are not doing that at the moment. And besides, you are doing Dry July so you are not allowed to". And so I didn't. Thankfully I wasn't pressed as to why I didn't want any. My inlaws are lovely but I just don't feel like having to explain to them just yet.

Starting day 7 today and feeling good. No, scrap that. I am feeling really tired. I haven't been sleeping well and it's caught up with me. I have been a bad sleeper all my life. One of the reasons I liked to drink wine was that it helped get me to sleep. The only trouble was that in the end I was drinking a whole bottle of wine and sometimes a bit more and whilst I did sleep it was not good quality sleep. So of course I would wake up feeling dreadfully tired and feeling like crap. I would often drop my son at school and come home and have a nap for an hour or two. Then would struggle to have a shower and get moving - it was all too hard. So the day would just go and before I knew it it would be time to pick Master 7 up from school and I would have gotten nothing done. I feel embarrassed writing this. But it's the truth, and if I want to change, I need to acknowledge my behaviour. I have got a lot of soul searching to do and it might be painful at times, but I need to do it.

I would have liked to start my blog on day 1 of this journey (don't you just love that word?!) but we were staying at my mum's in the country and I didn't want anyone to know (that I was writing a blog) I'm not sure if I want my husband reading this either, but I guess there is a chance he will as he uses this computer too. I'm careful to log off each time but computers are strange things, especially to me! so there is a good chance I will miss something. Oh well, will see what happens I guess.

It's the 2nd week of the school holidays. I'm grateful that Dry July started whilst I am on annual leave for 2 weeks. I only work 2 days a week (as a nurse) but it is always busy and can be very stressful. I would often, well always actually, come home and have 1 or 4 glasses of wine and go to bed late. I work afternoon shifts and never get out on time so it's always 10pm or later when I get home. Having a couple of booze free weeks behind me will hopefully make it easier when I go back to work.

Off to the movies today to see How to train your Dragon 2. Looking forward to it!

A x