Monday 8 June 2015

Dry July?

I was at work yesterday and saw a flyer for Dry July in the tea room. I can't believe it's nearly a year since I first saw that flyer and thought maybe, just maybe, I could do that. I had been trying to cut down on my alcohol intake for a couple of months and when I saw it, it was like it called out to me, like it was a sign. I know how silly that sounds, but it's how I felt.

So, when I got home, I secretly signed up. I didn't tell hubby and I'm not sure why. I think I wasn't ready to put a voice to how I was feeling. That I needed a break from drinking. I guess I didn't want to have to admit that I had a problem.

In the end, I had to tell him of course. I can't remember exactly what I said. Something about having a break and raising money for charity at the same time. We were at mums in the country with 2 of my 3 brothers and their kids, and they were all so proud of me for doing it. Especially mum. She knew I drank too much and she welcomed the fact I wouldn't be drinking for a month.

I LOVED doing Dry July! I've spoken about it before in my blog, but it's so true. It gave me permission to not drink and the relief was HUGE! I didn't have to explain to people why I wasn't drinking. I didn't have to go into any in depth reason and no one questioned it. Not a single person. Well, that's not really true. My friend C asked me why I was doing it, but in a curious way more than anything. So I just told her that I drank too much sometimes. That sometimes, before I knew it, I had had the whole bottle ha ha! But only occasionally of course, not everyday. I couldn't tell her that. And she told me how she too sometimes could finish a whole bottle. And I got the feeling that maybe she too drank more than she should. She thought it was great that I was doing Dry July.

It's funny now many people admired me for doing it. One day a group of us were out at a Lego expedition and we were planning to go out to lunch afterwards. One of the girls turned to her husband and told him I wasn't drinking because I was doing Dry July and he more or less said well done but that he couldn't do it. In fact, that's pretty much what everyone said. They said it was admirable that I was doing it but that they couldn't do it themselves. They had such and such to go to that weekend so there was no way they could do it. But I suspect that these people don't have a problem with alcohol. Not like I do. So they might not want to give it up for a month, but they don't drink every day so they don't need to give it up for a month.

So anyway, Dry July was a turning point for me. It gave me my first taste of alcohol free life and I loved it. If only that feeling had lasted. Unfortunately, not long before the month ended, I started to get those thoughts, you know the ones, the 'I'm not that bad' ones, the 'I can't be an alcoholic if I can stop so easily for a month' ones. And the hangovers had faded and besides, I was sure I could drink sensibly now that I knew how good being sober felt. And we all know how the rest went.


I drank for two weeks then found myself longing for those sober days back. So I stopped again for 31 days and then felt 'ok' again. And so it went. That was the beginning of my trying to give up drinking.

So when I saw that flyer at work yesterday, I wondered should I sign up? How nice would it be to have a whole month of not having to explain myself. To have people admire what I'm doing. But I would only be putting off having to tell people. Putting off the inevitable. So I'm not sure. What do you think? Should I do Dry July again? Or should July just be a regular July, just another month in which I don't drink? Not a 'special' month or a 'different' month. Just a new normal month.

Day 22.

A x



14 comments:

  1. Here are my thoughts

    One. Don't do it. This is a serious problem that you are addressing. It isn't a fundraiser or a challenge. Having a set month may set you up for drinking in August as you will be counting down the days. The focus will be on enduring July raterpher than beginning to create the life you truly want. And since you have been trying to get to an alcohol free lode got over a year, you must really want it. And it's so worth it!

    Or do it. You know it will keep July alcohol free. The extra support and accountability might help you get enough tim sober for you to gain more clarity on how you want your life to be. Drinking is a personal thing, in the end. No one really cares if you drink or not-just you (and your loved ones of they see the negative side).

    Either way, don't drink in July! Sober is so much better!

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    1. I won't be drinking in July, no matter what. You make good points Anne. I will consider both over the next few weeks. Thanks Anne. A x

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  2. It's a difficult one because you're planning on going way beyond July ... you could just say you are doing dry July if anyone asks even if you're officially not. That way you have something to say if people ask why you're not drinking and it will bide you more time if you're not ready to be completely open yet x

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    1. Yes I could do that. But a part of me wants to be honest about this. I am gearing myself up to telling my family that I am doing the 100 day challenge. But maybe I should say I am doing it to friends. I'm not sure, will have to think about it! A x

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  3. I would do it. It will make July that much easier, and by the time you get to August you'll have so many sober days under your belt that the next bit will be easier too.... Big hugs to you! SM x

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    1. Thanks SM,
      Yes it would make July a bit easier. But then I'd have to explain why I'm not drinking beyond and that might be a bit harder. What to do?!
      A x

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  4. I would say do it, it sounds like you got a lot out of it last year and may really convince you this is the best way forward. Best of luck XX

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    1. Thanks Kats. Whatever I decide, I will NOT be drinking this July!
      A x

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  5. Do it!! You need as much encouragement and perhaps motivation at the start. It's just another reason to stay AF!

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    1. You are right, the encouragement and motivation would help. But I want to be motivated anyway. I'm thinking of telling my family about the 100 day challenge and hopefully they will encourage me for longer than just July. A x

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  6. Dear Angie,
    Anne said it well!
    She is a smart lady!
    I would do it if you think it will help you get more time sober.
    Then in August, you can say "Oh it was so great, I'm just going to keep going!"
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Thanks Wendy,
      I could do that. Just tell people that I'm continuing on because I felt so good doing it. I don't know, I will think about it over the next few weeks. A x

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  7. I don't think you have to explain yourself to anyone. Because we make it "weird" to not drink people think it's strange when you don't drink. Do Dry July! And just keep going. And don't feel like you have to explain yourself- I know that isn't easy, but it gets easier. I love how happy you sound when you talk about not drinking. It makes sense to you to be sober- go with it. Explanations and weirdness be damned! :) xo

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    1. Thanks Amy,
      That's the thing isn't it, we shouldn't have to explain ourselves if we don't want to. And saying I don't drink anymore should be enough. Not drinking does make me happier. I just hope it makes me stronger too. A x

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