Monday, 15 June 2015

A challenge... but it's not for not drinking!!

Another Monday, another new week.  Can't believe it's half way through June already. It's scary how fast the year is going. Will it ever slow down?!

Well, I made it through the birthday party on Saturday. And the evening too. In fact, I had no problem saying no thanks, but it took quite a bit for my friends to accept my answer!!

So, we arrive at the party, which was held at a park with bbq facilities, and the first thing I notice is the ice buckets with bottles of bubbly and stubbies of beer. No problem I thought, as I put my 2 small bottles of diet coke in the ice (and hoping no one else takes them!) My friend then tells me Don't worry, I remembered the diet coke and sure enough, there was a 2 litre bottle in the tub. Phew!

So I'm thinking this is going to be easy. I'll just drink my diet coke and everyone will be happy. Wrong! My friend C proceeds to line up several plastic champagne glasses and I just KNOW one of them is for me. So I quickly grab mine and fill it with diet coke. C gets distracted doing something else for a moment, but then turns back and notices my glass. That was for the sparkling!! she tells me. No that's ok I say, I'm just having diet coke today. Come on, have a glass with me! she says. No really I say, I'm fine. Just one she then says and I'm beginning to get annoyed. Then her husband comes over and joins in. Come on Ange he says, have one with C. No thanks I persist, I'm having a break. If I have one now I'll just want to keep drinking at home later. Then just have one now and none at home later he says. WHAT?! Did you not hear what I just said?!! So I tell them that I am doing a personal challenge and that if I drink now I will be very disappointed in myself. So the moment finally passes. But bloody hell! And the annoying thing is, they were not trying to ply alcohol on other friends. Although one other girl said no thanks as well and ended up with a glass of sparkling in her hand, but that's all she had and they didn't pressure her to have more. And through out the day I was asked was I sure I didn't want one??

I love my friends, but it was so frustrating. In their defense I didn't come out and say I have quit drinking, but should I have to? Shouldn't saying 'no thanks' be enough? I know in the past I've shared lots of drinks with them, but surely they can see that I'm not drinking at the moment. They have even said they are cutting down to lose weight, so I thought they would be more understanding.

And, being a glutton for punishment, I accepted their invite back to their house after the party but I made sure to tell them that I was driving and enlisted hubby's help as well. I told him I really didn't want to drink and asked him to back me up, just in case they were persistent. And of course they offered me a glass. But I just no thanks again and continued with my diet coke (which was flat by now from sitting in a tub all day with melted ice, but I didn't care!!) I think C didn't drink nearly as much as she would have had I been drinking too, but she still had a few. Her husband on the other hand got very drunk with one of his mates. My hubby was pretty drunk too, but not as bad.

I really didn't care that they were drinking. In fact, it made me glad that I wasn't (although, if I am honest with myself, I did have that thought when I first arrived 'what a beautiful day for a bbq and a cold glass of wine' and to be honest, if I wasn't doing the 100 day challenge, I'm not sure I would have been able to resist. But I am doing the challenge so whist I acknowledged the perfect day, I didn't consider having a glass) I know that if I had been drinking, I would have had quite a few and continued into the evening. And then I would have felt crap the next day and quite possibly I wouldn't have made it to work, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon!!

So yes, so relieved that I wasn't drinking. Because no matter how perfect the day, it would have ended up messy. The first couple might be nice but it would just go down hill from there. I was tired yesterday because we had a late night, but I got to work and was so glad I wasn't hungover.

I don't want to not go out with our friends. I enjoy their company and I don't think I need to be drinking with them for us all to have a good time. I don't want them to think I'm boring because I'm not drinking. I want them to see that you can enjoy these occasions without alcohol, that it's not a necessity. I know when I was drinking I would love having a drinking buddy, but if that person wasn't drinking, I would get over it. I would still drink and everyone would be happy. Hopefully they will get the message soon. And I KNOW, you don't have to tell me, I am going to have to tell them about the 100 day challenge. If I don't, they will just keep offering me drinks!!

Day 29.

A x


  1. Well done Angie - you did brilliantly! X

  2. Yes, great job.
    I'm sure I pressured many friends into having a drink with me. Most of my friends were in drinkers too, so it wasn't very hard.
    I had pressure in the beginning, but I was very clear it was going to be a birthday gift to myself to take the year off drinking. Many scoffed.
    they were wrong.
    It's not that you can't go to drinking events, but even if you feel ok, it is draining to put yourself through too many social situations where you feel forced to act like you normally would, but sober.

    If you need to do less, listen to your inner wisdom. And be prepared. Sometimes it is after a challenging event that we have some letdown triggers moments.


    1. Hi Anne,
      Yes you're right as usual. I will definitely think before I go out again and consider if it's something I really want to do. Thankfully, we don't go out much so it's not too hard, but I guess it only takes the once, a moment of weakness and all the hard work will be undone. I will stay vigilant.
      The problem is, people say 'you don't have a problem', but they don't know because I haven't told them the whole truth. "I have a couple most nights' I'll say. When in reality it is a whole bottle! I just brushed over that little detail.
      Why do people sound so surprised when you say you've stopped drinking? No one ever reacted like that when I stopped smoking!
      A x

    2. When people say things like that I go back to
      It wasn't how much I was drinking, it's how drinking, even a little, made me feel.
      Tired, depressed, anxious and unhappy.

    3. 2 glasses, a bottle, 3 bottles. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter does it. It's how miserable it makes you feel. And I don't want to feel miserable any more.

  3. you are doing amazing!! Day thirty already, its awesome. I wouldn't bother with so many of the social events, its boring and exhausting when in a different frame of mind, do lunch and coffee dates. Just say no. F**k it. Suit yourself for a change, thats what i'm doing! X

    1. Agree with this, completely. The first 100 days are hard enough. Especially with events that you know are just going to be drink-fests, don't go if you don't feel like dealing with it. People will get over it.

    2. Thanks Kats,
      Day 30 feels pretty good I have to say! I do need to suit myself don't I? I don't want to feel pressured to drink to make someone else feel good. How are you going? A x

    3. Yes geekgonesober, people WILL get over it. It's not up to me to make them feel comfortable about their own drinking! A x

  4. Dear Angie,
    Wise advice above!
    I told everyone that I had stopped, or was trying, and so they didn;t offer me any.
    But even then, it was hard at first.
    Funny thing though.
    One of my good friends has stopped drinking as well, seeing that I could do it!
    You are doing this to feel better about yourself!
    Happy Day 30!!!

    1. Hi Wendy, that's good your friend stopped too. I'm kind of hoping that my friend does too, but I don't think she will. She says she's cut down and not drinking so much during the week but I have a feeling she is making up for it on the weekend! Which isn't my problem.
      Day 30 today. Woohoo!
      A x

  5. Just catching up on your blog angie, you did soooo well, really strong not sure I could have been. You're friends do need to take the hint though as this isn't the first time you've been under pressure to drink. I'm guessing your drinking justifies their own and they're not sure what to do without you ... maybe I'm wrong? Xx

    1. I think you may be right. But I'm hoping my not drinking will set a good example. We'll see I guess. A x