So, I had a break through last night.
We were having dinner and chatting when I casually mentioned to hubby that I was considering doing Dry July again but that I wasn't sure. I said I wouldn't be drinking anyway, but that I wasn't sure whether to do it or not. Hubby then suggests that I do it unofficially, that I just do my own challenge. So I told him that, actually, I was already doing my own challenge, 100 days in fact. And I mentioned 'some girl on the internet' was running it (sorry Belle, you are much more than some girl on the internet! I just wanted to keep it low key) What day are you up to? asks hubby. And I say 24. So there you have it. It's out in the open, albeit not in great depth but it's still out there.
Also, I decided to go to Kmart last night because the little guy needed a costume for his excursion today and I wanted to see if they had what I needed. So I say to hubby "it's good not drinking because you can drive to the shops at night". To which he replied something about that being what normal people do. I was a bit pissed off for a second but then I thought, no, you're right. So I said as much. Because it's true. It is what normal people do. And as much as I tried to talk myself into the fact that a lot of people drink a bottle of wine a night, they just don't. News flash - normal people don't drink a bottle of wine every night! Which of course, deep down I knew. I just didn't want to admit it. There's no hiding anymore.
I had the little guy home sick again yesterday and I was reading all my sober blogs plus new ones that aren't on my blog list. One of them had the word 'alcoholic' in big letters in the title. Well, little guy saw it and was trying to read it. 'Catholic?' he asked me. What are you reading about 'Catholics' for mum? It's not Catholic I say it's.... and I changed the subject. Because I wasn't sure if I wanted to explain what an alcoholic is. I have casually mentioned before that if you have too many beers or wines it can change your behaviour, but I haven't gone into it further. My brother who drinks way too much looks terrible most of the time. I asked the little guy once if he noticed anything different about his uncle, but he hasn't. He just said he smokes too much. So I left it at that. But if I want him to grow up aware that drinking too much is bad for you, should I explain to him what an alcoholic is? Is he too young (8 and a half) to know? I don't know. Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated.
So, day 25 today. Feeling pretty good. Still tired but not as bad. I think I have been sleeping better since I started taking magnesium so that's a good thing. I'm still waiting for my pink cloud though, hopefully that will come!
Have a great day everyone :)
A x
Dear Angie,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are being open and honest with your husband.
When I would get defensive with something my husband said about my drinking, it was because it was true, but I didn't want to hear it.
In terms of your son, if he has a general question about drinking, you can answer it in a simple, honest way that doesn't overwhelm him for his age.
I think that at his age, just knowing that drinking too much can cause problems for people is enough.
Hugs to you!
xo
Wendy
Hi Wendy, Great advice, thank you.
DeleteYes, I have gotten defensive many times in the past. I guess I didn't want to hear the truth, let alone face it. Hopefully I won't have to feel defensive any more.
Yes, think I will just keep it simple for my son. He will learn in time. Best to keep his innocence for as long as possible.
A x
I was on the motherhood Bubble hour in May 2014 talking about kids and drinking.
ReplyDeleteMy kids were 8 and 10 when we quit. We discussed how drinking can become a problem for people and that we had decided the best choice for us was to quit completely. It opened the door to talking about problems and asking for help. Because I became seriously depressed at the time we talked about that too. We used a therapist, but my kids have taken it all pretty well. Our life, which was never really bad, is so much more full and peaceful now. Or maybe only I see that....
My 8 year old daughter was most involved. She didn't like it when I drank too much wine, as she said it made me sleepy and unhappy. She is very happy I quit.
Hi Anne,
DeleteThanks for you advice, so helpful as usual. I will keep it simple I think and just tell him what he needs to know.
I have listened to that episode on the Bubble Hour but it was along time ago. I will have to go back and listen to it again. It will be interesting 'knowing' someone on the show!
Your 8 year old sounds wise beyond her years. Mine is not like that! A x
She is. Very wise. Very aware. She's the one I caught watching porn. Her older brother is completely different. He didn't know what porn was...
DeleteSigh
Oh my gosh Anne! That's a worry! The thought of my son discovering porn one day terrifies me!! Am going to relish his innocence while he still has it!
Deletethat's great that you told your husband Angie, it's so much easier having people on side. lovely husband is doing the 100 day challenge with me and it's fab. I love not having alcohol (except for the manky ale he brewed himself that I would never touch!) in the house.
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids (3 & 6) ask tricky questions I always try to answer as openly and honestly as I can and try to be age appropriate. It can be tough though! You're doing great girl!. x
Thanks Mtts,
DeleteI'm glad I told him. It does make it easier. You are lucky your hubby is doing the challenge with you. Mine doesn't drink much when I'm not drinking, but he does enjoy a couple of beers, especially on the weekend when the footy is on. And it doesn't worry me. Maybe because I've never drunk beer. Maybe if he just drank wine it would be another story!!