Day 15. I have made it to two weeks...again! In previous attempts I've done Dry July, Ocsober and Febfast, so two weeks felt like a half way point. There was an end in sight. This time, I don't have that buffer, which is tricky because it means that I've been thinking of the 'forever' word a lot more and it's a word that has always frightened me. I've been told time and again not to think about it and to just concentrate on 'today', but I find it hard. And this is what has derailed me every time. That and all the special occasions that have occurred and I haven't been strong enough to abstain.
It's my wedding anniversary on Friday. 11 years! Where has the time gone?!! Anyway, each year on our anniversary we get a complimentary night at the hotel where we had our wedding reception. It was part of our wedding package and it's great! Each year we've gone there and had a lovely stay. Usually we get a taxi into the city and have dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by several drinks back at the hotel. We even went there when the little guy was a baby and had room service. We're too scared to miss out on a year in case they decide to stop our visits (they don't have that offer any more. When we got married they had a new function room and were only just starting to do weddings so were obviously offering a great incentive to have your reception there). So, that time of year is rolling around again. Due to other family commitments we can't get there until the first weekend in May, which is only a couple of weeks away. And I'm scared. How am I going to do this and not have any wine or champagne?! It really won't be the same. I know, I know, I shouldn't be thinking like this but I can't help it. I'm really struggling with it and a part of me wishes we didn't have to go. But I don't want to not go either so what do I do? I'm really struggling with the concept of all the future occasions that I'm going to have to endure without alcohol. It's bloody scary!
The thing is, I know it can be done. There are so many people who are living rich, fulfilled lives without alcohol. They go to all sorts of special occasions and enjoy them without wine or champagne or whatever there alcohol of choice was. Why can't I get to that place? Will I ever? There is even a little voice in my head that asks do I even need to?
I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired. Physically tired and mentally tired. This is hard work. I go days where everything is fine and relatively easy, then I get to one of these days and it all seems too hard.
I am not going to drink today. That I do know.
A x
I know, I know! I still struggle with 'forever'. Why don't you add a new 'treat' to the weekend instead of the champagne - like a massage or a facial? And think about how great breakfast in bed will be without the hangover! Big hugs SM x
ReplyDeleteI've never been one for treats. Although I did go shopping last week and splurged on some new clothes, a pandora ring and a fitness band. Was kind of rewarding myself I guess. I can't afford to do that all the time (and the credit card paid for it all anyway!!) A facial sounds good though. Thanks SM. A x
DeleteMy strategy for such recurring events was to say 'I'll do it sober this year, and if it's awful, next year I'll go back to adding booze'.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought.
Ps, forever still scares me. I had a notion of retiring and drinking wine in the sun all day and still miss that image. I cope by not going there too much and when I do, I reassure myself that everything else has been better without alcohol so why would this be any different?
Stick with it and you will succeed.
Rx
That's a good way of looking at it Rachel. I remember you doing that in your book. It worked for you so maybe I will try it. I'm just worried that I'll just say stuff it, and drink next time. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time. A x
DeleteI really like Rachel's advice.
ReplyDeleteI would talk to your husband in advance and make it clear you are concerned and would like for you both to be alcohol free. And see how it goes.
Have an extra dessert and enjoy yourself.
When you think of it, it's sad to think we feel we need booze to make a special weekend special. It's so not true. But you have to try it to find that out!
Good choices posted a bit today about perhaps making too much out of the need for sobriety and it making things worse. That's wolfie. He gets scared when we start to realize booze is hurting our lives and that we will be better off without it.
Plan to try it this year. You might be shocked!
One day at a time.
Anne
Thanks Anne. I will work something out (I hope) It IS sad that we feel we have to have booze to make a special occasion more special. Will it ever change?! Wolfie has been getting louder lately. He's sick of me not drinking I think. Time to kick him to the kerb!
DeleteA x
Dear Angie,
ReplyDeleteI used to feel the same way.
But it is true, that just for today, don't drink.
Celebrate the real love of your anniversary, not the fake alcohol one.
Hugs!
Wendy
Thanks Wendy. I am finding that concentrating on just today actually works. Looking too far ahead is just too depressing. A x
Delete