Saturday, 11 April 2015

A drinking dream and friends

I had a drinking dream last night. We were invited around to my oldest friends house for dinner. In real life, we don't see each other very often but when we do, we enjoy a few glasses (a lot!) of wine and have wonderful conversations. I haven't seen her for about a year but am hoping to catch up sometime in the near future. Anyway, in my dream, we got to her house and she had lovely nibbles set out and glasses of bubbly already poured sitting on the table. It was such a dilemma! I could feel my resolve slipping and thinking I couldn't waste it now that it was poured and it looked so lovely that I should just drink it. But at the same time, I was thinking if I do, what's the point? I'll never stop and I'll be back where I started. I think I was going to tell my friend that I wouldn't drink it and why but then I woke up. But it felt so real. I know I will be faced with this dilemma in real life sooner or later. I just hope I'll be strong enough by then to say no.

The movies and seeing my other friends yesterday was great. And interestingly, my friend who likes to drink told me that she had cut down drastically on her alcohol intake as she is on a health kick. She told me that she'd had a few nights off and then had a few the previous night and how awful she felt in the morning. So I told her that I was cutting down too and how much better it is to wake up in the morning without that awful hangover feeling. So, next time we go out to dinner she will understand why I'm not having a drink. And it may even encourage her to have a night out without booze herself.

So, it's the weekend. So far, I've had no cravings and I'm hoping that that will continue throughout the weekend. Yesterday though, as the little guy and I were walking through the carpark to the cinema I was thinking about how I'm not drinking and wondering, will I EVER stop thinking about it?! It's always there in my mind. All day, every day. It's not bad as such but it's just always there. And I thought to myself, there must be millions of people in the world who go about their day not even thinking once about alcohol. Will I ever be one of those people? I remember, even when I got to 42 days, it was still on my mind a lot. Sometimes it's exhausting and you just want it to go away!

This afternoon I'm taking the little guy to the theatre to see The 26 Storey Treehouse play. It is based on an Australian childrens book and my son loved it. So we are looking forward to that. A trip into the city on the train, it will be a lovely treat.

Have a great weekend :)

A x


  1. I still think about it a lot, although now it is more of a look, isn't it nice to not drink. But it is still there and probably always will be.
    That's part of the reason r covers is life long. We can't forget that booze isn't our friend.
    It's pretty easy now. I love my clear, free life too much to have any interst in drinking.

    You might consider avoiding too many social events for a while. Or warn your host in advance you are abstaining so it's not a "put on the spot" situation?


    1. I think you're right Anne, we can't forget that booze is not our friend. I know from my past attempts that after a period of sobriety I tend to forget how bad it was or think that I'll be ok now, which has led me back down the drinking path. I need to remember! Re social events, thankfully we don't go out a lot. If we go out for dinner with just hubby and the little guy and I am usually fine. It's when friends come into the mix that I usually get derailed. But nothing planned for a while so hopefully will have some more sober time under my belt before our next outing. Thanks for your advice, spot on as usual. A x

  2. I would bet money that you're friend, the one who is cutting down for health reasons, is going through the very same thing you are. She may not be to the point that you are, where you're ready to give it up for good, but she probably soon will be and won't it be nice to be there for her when she does. I've been sober for four years and I'm sad to say that none of my friends have made that choice, and some of them really need to, I would love to have another totally sober person to lean on sometimes. So it's up to you to be that shining example for your friend. No pressure there.

    Yes, you do quit obsessing about alcohol. Obviously, I still think about it a lot because I blog and I'm active on message boards, but I don't wake up in the morning worrying about whether I'll drink that day, or how I'm going to get through the day without drinking, or what happens if my friends want to go out drinking...all of that fades away with time. 6 months seems to be a real turning point for a lot of people.

    It gets better and better. I promise.

    1. Thank you Kary for your comment. I have wondered about my friend. I would love it if she decided to follow my path. It would be lovely to have a sober friend in real life. I will encourage her by telling her how much better I feel when I am not drinking. Who knows, she may listen to me! I guess in a way it's important to be thinking about alcohol all the time. Even though it can be exhausting, it would be easy to become complacent. So I'm going to look at it as a good thing. And just pray that one day I will get to other side. A x