I had a drinking dream last night. We were invited around to my oldest friends house for dinner. In real life, we don't see each other very often but when we do, we enjoy a few glasses (a lot!) of wine and have wonderful conversations. I haven't seen her for about a year but am hoping to catch up sometime in the near future. Anyway, in my dream, we got to her house and she had lovely nibbles set out and glasses of bubbly already poured sitting on the table. It was such a dilemma! I could feel my resolve slipping and thinking I couldn't waste it now that it was poured and it looked so lovely that I should just drink it. But at the same time, I was thinking if I do, what's the point? I'll never stop and I'll be back where I started. I think I was going to tell my friend that I wouldn't drink it and why but then I woke up. But it felt so real. I know I will be faced with this dilemma in real life sooner or later. I just hope I'll be strong enough by then to say no.
The movies and seeing my other friends yesterday was great. And interestingly, my friend who likes to drink told me that she had cut down drastically on her alcohol intake as she is on a health kick. She told me that she'd had a few nights off and then had a few the previous night and how awful she felt in the morning. So I told her that I was cutting down too and how much better it is to wake up in the morning without that awful hangover feeling. So, next time we go out to dinner she will understand why I'm not having a drink. And it may even encourage her to have a night out without booze herself.
So, it's the weekend. So far, I've had no cravings and I'm hoping that that will continue throughout the weekend. Yesterday though, as the little guy and I were walking through the carpark to the cinema I was thinking about how I'm not drinking and wondering, will I EVER stop thinking about it?! It's always there in my mind. All day, every day. It's not bad as such but it's just always there. And I thought to myself, there must be millions of people in the world who go about their day not even thinking once about alcohol. Will I ever be one of those people? I remember, even when I got to 42 days, it was still on my mind a lot. Sometimes it's exhausting and you just want it to go away!
This afternoon I'm taking the little guy to the theatre to see The 26 Storey Treehouse play. It is based on an Australian childrens book and my son loved it. So we are looking forward to that. A trip into the city on the train, it will be a lovely treat.
Have a great weekend :)