Ok, I need some help. Today is day 10 and I'm still not drinking. And I'm not planning to. BUT... the Wine Witch has been bugging me all morning. I was driving the little guy to school and I suddenly started thinking that I'm mad to stop drinking at this time of the year. There is only a few weeks left till Christmas, why don't I just wait until the New Year and start again then. What the hell??? I've been telling that voice to p!ss off and leave me alone but I'm scared the seed has been planted.
I really want to do this. I don't want to have to go back to day 1 again. I don't want to go through these early days again. I have made a promise to myself, and to Belle, that I won't drink for 100 days. I need to be committed to this.
I don't want to wake up hungover ever again. I don't want to be filled with shame and remorse for drinking a bottle and a half of wine the night before. I want to be present for my son and husband and to be the best person I can be. I want to find out who I am. I want to discover what stillness and peace and true happiness feels like. I want to feel confident and work on building up my self esteem which has been non-existent my entire life. I want to be sober. None of this will happen if I drink again.
I am going out to dinner tonight with some mums from school. My friend C is having pre-dinner drinks at her house. I'm planning on driving there myself (instead of being picked up) and taking a bottle of AF sparkling. I can do this. I just have to tell that stupid voice to leave me alone.
I need to know that you guys are out there egging me on. I don't want the wine witch to win.