Ok, I need some help. Today is day 10 and I'm still not drinking. And I'm not planning to. BUT... the Wine Witch has been bugging me all morning. I was driving the little guy to school and I suddenly started thinking that I'm mad to stop drinking at this time of the year. There is only a few weeks left till Christmas, why don't I just wait until the New Year and start again then. What the hell??? I've been telling that voice to p!ss off and leave me alone but I'm scared the seed has been planted.
I really want to do this. I don't want to have to go back to day 1 again. I don't want to go through these early days again. I have made a promise to myself, and to Belle, that I won't drink for 100 days. I need to be committed to this.
I don't want to wake up hungover ever again. I don't want to be filled with shame and remorse for drinking a bottle and a half of wine the night before. I want to be present for my son and husband and to be the best person I can be. I want to find out who I am. I want to discover what stillness and peace and true happiness feels like. I want to feel confident and work on building up my self esteem which has been non-existent my entire life. I want to be sober. None of this will happen if I drink again.
I am going out to dinner tonight with some mums from school. My friend C is having pre-dinner drinks at her house. I'm planning on driving there myself (instead of being picked up) and taking a bottle of AF sparkling. I can do this. I just have to tell that stupid voice to leave me alone.
I need to know that you guys are out there egging me on. I don't want the wine witch to win.
Help!!
A x
I'm here, egging you on Angie. And so are hundreds of others round the world. Drinking today would just be borrowing tomorrow's happiness. Let it go, gracefully. Huge hugs xxxx
ReplyDeleteThanks SM. I'm taking your hugs and wrapping your arms around me. See, I feel better already! I did it by the way, I didn't drink! I am so pleased with myself. Maybe I am stronger than I know. A x
DeleteI'm here! You can do this! Just keep telling yourself all those reasons you just listed in your post. No need to drink tonight with your friends; you'll have fun without the booze!
ReplyDeleteThanks DobieGirl, I followed you advice. and I didn't feel like drinking at all (well maybe for a second...) and I had fun without the booze. Booze shmooze, who needs it anyway? Not me that's for sure!! A x
DeleteWe're all here xx. You can do it.xx
ReplyDeleteThanks WB. It really is great knowing that I have you all rooting for me. It really helps me. Thanks again. A x
DeleteIt's me too. I going through a lot of stress right now and I really need and want a drink or two. But somehow I am managing. Teeth grinding (literally) and not sleeping. At least I am not hungover. Think about the morning after. It is the only thing right now that stops me from drinking. Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a better day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Time. I managed to go to my dinner and not drink. Knowing that you are all out there somewhere supporting me helped immensely. I hope you find it easier soon. Teeth grinding isn't very pleasant. I hope you sleep better soon. A x
DeleteIt is a hard time of year, but there's never really an easy time.
ReplyDeleteKnowing you have decided not to drink makes things simpler.
Wake up tomorrow and declare you will not drink that day. One day at a time.
I did it Anne. I went out to dinner with my friends and I didn't drink! And I am so relieved! And knowing that I will be waking up hangover free is the best bit of all! One day at a time. A x
DeleteSo much nicer to enjoy the holidays sober, and not drink your way through. Drink your good-girl AF sparkly and have fun (but if it's sparkling juice try not to drink the whole bottle-- first hand experience here!!) Also, please remember that there are millions of awesome things to eat and drink this time of year, your mouth need never be bored. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks suburbanbetty. I ended up taking a couple of small bottles of lemon lime and bitters (which I didn't enjoy much) then I had a diet coke. Dinner was delicious even without wine to accompany it. So glad I didn't have any booze. A x
DeleteI'm here egging you on, too! You know, no matter what time of year it is, the voice that tells you to drink is just something you have to work against until it fades a little, and then be vigilant about it coming back. All the reasons you give for not wanting to drink are good. I'll keep checking on to cheer you on! Congrats on day 10! xo
ReplyDeleteYou are so right Thirsty. That voice is always there, no matter what time of year it is. I just have to be strong and tell it where to go!! Because I know it will be very busy over the coming weeks. I will have to keep my guard up at all times. Thanks for checking in on me. A x
DeleteYou're doing great and building up your sober momentum - tonight is another hurdle to negotiate, but you'll wake up tomorrow so glad you didn't drink. Each day you add to your sober tally makes it that bit less attractive to go back to day 1 so keep plodding onwards - everyone here is cheering you on. :) x
ReplyDeleteThanks Silver Birch. It's so nice knowing that I have you all cheering me on,it helps me a lot. I am going to keep going and get further and further away from my last drink. A x
DeleteYou got this...just play it all the way through if you drink tonight. You'll possibly embarrass yourself in front of your gf, you'll definitely want more and more, you'll wake up feeling awful, both physically and psychologically. Hang in there - tell the voice to piss off. I am pulling for you:]
ReplyDeleteThanks stratta15. You are so right. The night would have ended quite differently had I been drinking. Instead I drove 2 of my friends there and back and I will wake up hangover free in the morning. Yay!! A x
Delete