What a day yesterday!! Braved the shops again and got a bit more Christmas shopping done. Had the little guy with me again. I have to say, he was very well behaved. And I had a waxing appointment that took over half an hour and he waited for me patiently (having my iphone helped!) And it was 40 degrees (104 F) !! The heat makes you so hot and bothered. I found myself yelling at my poor son and I hated myself. I kept thinking 'why am I like this? I wasn't even this bad when I was drinking!' I really wasn't liking myself yesterday. But the heat gets to all of us. Today is the same but I am determined to be in a better mood today.
Last night C and I went to the first performance of CATS in Melbourne! It was FANTASTIC!! I even got a photo with Delta Goodrem who is playing Grizabella. She was brilliant! Not sure if she is known overseas, but she is a wonderful Australian singer. I loved her!
Before the show though, we went out to dinner. C booked the venue. It's a flashy restaurant that has a theatre menue - 2 courses and a glass of wine for $40. Now, I didn't like what was on the menu, so I didn't choose the theatre one. I just chose something of the regular menu. And had water and a diet coke. C had a glass of bubbly and a red wine. I did feel a bit deprived I have to admit. I even said to her how nice a glass would be. So of course she said 'well have just one glass' Well, we know that's not possible so I just said no, I'd better not. How nice would it be to just have one glass? But the thing is, it's not appealing to me at all! I would much rather have two. And then at the theatre I would have to have one going in and then one at intermission. Getting home at nearly midnight would not have stopped me having more at home either, and then I'd be up till all hours and be feeling shit today. So no, one glass wouldn't have been nice. Because it would never be one glass.
I just love the theatre. When I left school I auditioned for a drama and dance school. It was a one year course, and I got accepted !! I also applied to nursing school and got into that too. I was so torn. Which to choose?! Mum and my careers advisor at school said I should do the nursing and I could always go back and do the drama/dance later. So that's what I did. Only I never did go back and do my first love. I met a guy (totally unsuitable of course) and was with him for 12 years!!! I moved to the city for a short time and tried to get into dance schools but it was too late by then and my BF wanted me to move back to the country and be with him, I so regret my choices back then. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I'd done that course. Maybe it would have been me on that stage last night?! It was my dream. I have always resented mum a little bit for making me choose that path. I know it's not really her fault, but I can't help it. So many regrets in my life .....
Anyway, another sober morning! No hangover and a day closer to a sober Christmas. I'm getting excited now! I love Christmas. And this one will be even more special because I'm going to be totally present for the whole day! Only 6 sleeps to go!
A x
So so proud of you. Stop talking to her. She will always be on the side of wine and not you. And mornings without hangover rock. Be proud of yourself. Sober Christmas is around the corner.
ReplyDeleteLove, love!
ReplyDeleteA sober Christmas is much more alive.
We feel the cold, the heat, hear the voices sing, see the dances…
AND we can be awake for it all!
I understand regrets, but when I have them, I do like my drinking voice, I just let it go.
xo
Wendy