Day 18
I had a really bad day at work on Tuesday afternoon. The shift itself wasn't too bad but it all went to shit at the very end as we were about to walk out the door. So we didn't leave till late and we were all a bit stressed. In the past, it would have been the perfect excuse to buy a bottle of wine on the way home and drink the whole thing. I would have 'deserved' it after such a stressful shift. But it didn't really help. All it did was make me stay up late and feel miserable the next morning. This time, the thought of getting wine did pop into my head. But I didn't listen to it. I thought, drinking a bottle of wine wouldn't help. It wouldn't change anything and I would just feel shit the next day. So, instead I went home and had a bit of a whinge to hubby and then I felt better. Yeah, the situation had sucked, but it was over. So I chose to let it go. And it was so nice to wake up the next morning without a hangover!
Last night we thought of going out for dinner at a local pub. They have $12 steaks on a Wednesday night and we've often gone in the past with my friend C, her hubby and their little guy. It's always a good night, and it's involved me not drinking when I was doing the 100 day challenge earlier in the year, and me drinking quite a bit when I wasn't. I knew I could have gone there last night with our friends and not had a drink, but I just didn't feel like having to go through the whole 'I'm not drinking at the moment' talk and to be honest, I was worried that I might not be strong enough and just say 'stuff it, it's nearly Christmas so I can have a drink'. So we didn't go and I had a lovely sober evening instead.
This coming Saturday we are going to Christmas carols in one of our local parks. We usually go with our neighbours but they moved last year, so we went with a group of friends from school instead and it was a great night. We had a bbq first and then headed to the park with our picnic rugs and our wine. We all had a lot of fun and the kids had a ball, running around in the fresh air and doing crafty Christmas things. This year will be different. I will not be drinking. I'm hoping that I can stay strong and not drink. That's what I intend to do. I know some people might suggest to not go this year, but I want to go. I just have to be firm with myself and my friends. There will be lots of challenges over the coming weeks. If I can get through each one I will be very proud of myself. If I can get through this period, I will be able to get through anything!
A x
YEs, there will be a lot of challenges. I am not looking forward to them. It is going to be a huge and long test. I have so much going on next week. Stress at work also is not helping. Let's just take one day at a time and focus on not drinking just one day. Today. We will deal with tomorrow when it comes. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's what I am trying to do. One day at a time. It's working so far. Just have to keep going! We can do this! A x
DeleteYou can stay strong. Make sure you be super kind to yourself throughout this time, though, as it can be a drain, all this staying strong. But you can do it! xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Thirsty, being kind to myself is something that I'm not used to doing. I haven't liked myself for a long time. It's something I need to work on. Baby steps though. Not drinking is first on the list. A x
Deletewell done angie, you are doing great. 18 days already!! one event at a time, i think you will do great xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Kats. I'm beginning to feel l can actually do this! A x
DeleteWoohoo! Go girl! Just remember: drinking today is just borrowing tomorrow's happiness... You're doing great xxx
ReplyDeleteGood job.
ReplyDeleteIt's often less about staying strong and more about putting yourself at the top of your to care for list.
Drinking is in no way self care. It only makes us tired, cranky, dehydrated, puffy and dull. Honestly.
But, for now, self care might mean avoiding situations that stress you. Like eating at the pub. Choose the option that seems kindest to you.
For the carols, if you want to go bring yourself a special drink. Something you will enjoy. Or a treat.
The reality is going to family Christmas carols should not require drinking. In fact, it shouldn't even include drinking, if you think about it.
Plan to not drink. Enlist your husband to not drink with you. Focus on enjoying your family. It will be fun.
Angie,
ReplyDeleteYou will be so thankful that you stay sober.
You will feel better, and be happier in the long run.
Anne had a good point, that it's about taking care of yourself!
xo
Wendy
Sometimes is good to avoid certain situations- I've opted not to go with hubby to a Birthday party tomorrow, I know it will be boozy, and I know that a couple of the people there will give me a hard time about not drinking. I'm not worried about caving in, I just don't want to have the whole conversation and feel like I have to defend myself....so i get exactly how you feel. But the family time, I think that's the perfect time to focus on family fun, and enjoy your sobriety. You are doing great xxxx
ReplyDelete