Day 19

Day 19

The little guy and I went to the supermarket after dinner yesterday and we bumped into my friend C and her husband D. We were saying how we are looking forward to the carols in the park tomorrow night. Then D asks me if I'm going to be drinking, to which I said no. Then C asked me how long for this time (she knew I did the 100 days. Her and her hubby were there when I had my first drink afterwards and D made it a bit of a ceremony. I felt a lot of pressure that night!) I just told her I didn't know. That I'm having an operation in January and I'm trying to lose some weight and feel healthier. What bugs me though, is why I felt that I had to come up with a reason. I could have just said I'm having a break again, or that I'm trying to give up. But I felt like I had to have a really good 'excuse'. When I quit smoking 10 years ago not one person said 'how long for?' or gave me a hard time. Everyone said how wonderful it was. Why is drinking so different? It is just as bad on your health as smoking is. It really annoys me!!

Not long ago I was having a text conversation with my older brother. We were chatting about our younger brother who is an alcoholic and how worried we were about him. And I was telling him I was thinking of giving up again. He is on the same page as me. He hasn't stopped yet but is trying to be mindful of his drinking. He won't drink in front of his boys and is trying to break the cycle of alcoholism. Anyway, he was saying how it annoys him that people refer to substance abuse as 'drugs and alcohol'. That is should all be called drugs because alcohol is a drug too. How right he is I thought. Because alcohol is a 'legal' substance it is not looked down upon as much. Unless of course you are homeless and drinking out of a brown paper bag. Then you are to be pitying and looked down on. Society needs to change how it views alcohol because more and more people are becoming addicted. But because they haven't had a 'low bottom' like the homeless man under the bridge no one knows about it. And they live in misery until they can get help and quit.

I can't see it changing any time soon. Not here anyway. People should be congratulated when they quit drinking, not made to feel uncomfortable and as though they are boring and no fun anymore.

I know my friends struggle a bit with my breaks from alcohol. I suppose it makes them look at their own alcohol use. And I know some people might say not to socialise with them anymore, but they are my friends. I'm just going to have to stay strong. And who knows, they might see that living without alcohol it possible.

A x