Monday 23 May 2016

My 1st meeting

I went to my first meeting on Friday. It was in the city so I went in on the train (I could have driven but I hate having to look for a park and the train is just easier). There aren't any other afternoon meetings locally which is why I went to the one in the city. I even told my husband that I was going ( I did think of lying and telling him that I was going shopping instead but then I thought I didn't want to have to make up an excuse every time I go so it would be easier to be honest from the start. Besides, he was off work that day so he drove me the train station).

I know the meetings are confidential but I want to write about my experience in the hope that it will help others who may be thinking of going but aren't sure what to expect. I will not break any confidences (I didn't know anyone there anyway) so I will just be describing what the room was like and the basics of the meeting.

I arrived on time. 5 minutes early actually. So I stood outside and pretended to be looking at my phone whilst checking out the area. I saw a couple of guys enter the meeting with coffees in their hands, so I grabbed myself a can of diet coke so I had something do do with my hands. Not sure why that was important!

There was a sign that said AA meeting with an arrow pointing to the room where it was being held. Everyone walking past could see the sign, which put me off for a second. What if someone saw me go in? The odds of someone I knew being there were low but still... I didn't really want people see me going in. But then I thought, who cares, I came here for a purpose and I am going to go through with it. So I went in.

There were chairs lined up in a row and facing the front of the room. A man sat at a table at the front, and he seemed to be running the meeting. The room was already nearly full so I took an aisle seat half way up the room (maybe subconsciously I did that in case I needed to make a quick get-away!). The girl sitting next to me introduced herself and shook my hand. She was very welcoming and I was put at ease immediately. I relaxed back into my seat, curious to see what would happen next.

The man at the front of the room (I guess you could call him a chair person?) asked if this was anyone's first meeting so I put my hand up. A few others put their hands up too. Everyone were very welcoming and I felt really glad to be there.

The chair person then chose several people to speak. If they didn't want to 'share' they just said hi, my name is such and such and I am alcoholic, and stated how many days/months/years they had and the next person was then chosen.  They stood up the front and spoke about their experiences with alcohol and their recovery.

I felt at home in that room. and as though I had a connection with these people that I had never met before. It was an amazing feeling and it stayed with me all day.

Afterwards, a few women came up to me and introduced themselves to me, and one of them gave me a starter pack. They were really friendly. People were chatting outside, so I stood there for a second but I felt really shy so I left.

I am so glad I went. My only disappointment was that they didn't hand out any chips. I was on day 180 and I really wanted a 6 month chip! Oh well, maybe the next meeting I go to will have them.

I will definitely be going back. Even though it's a bit far away, I liked the lunch time meeting as it means I can go when the little guy is at school. That particular meeting runs everyday (except Sunday and I work on Sundays anyway). I was thinking of going to a different meeting closer by on Saturday afternoon but I didn't get there. So I am planning on going to one tonight.

So that was my first meeting. I loved it. Even though I am 6 months down the track I think meetings will be beneficial. I kind of wish I had gone to them from the start, they would have helped so much. Maybe I would be further along emotionally if I'd gone earlier. Oh well. I'm 6 months sober and that's the main thing. Now I can move onto the next stage of my sobriety and meetings will hopefully help me do that.

If you aren't sure if meetings are for you or not, I highly suggest you go. Just to see what they are about. And if they aren't for you, you don't have to go back. That's just my thought on it anyway.

A x








18 comments:

  1. I admire you Angie! I am too scared to go. I am intrigued though. I once went to a mtg. last year. My one and only. I cried through the entire mtg. I will post about it one day. Maybe one day I too will be brave. I am so happy that you liked it and want to go back. I would like to hear more! Your comment: "Even though I am 6 months down the track I think meetings will be beneficial. I kind of wish I had gone to them from the start, they would have helped so much. Maybe I would be further along emotionally if I'd gone earlier." really makes me think if I should really consider going. I am doing ok now, but maybe I could be doing better? xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. You should go. I think they will help us a lot. I am doing ok too, but I could be doing so much more. If I don't put more work into my sobriety I'm scared I may relapse. That was brave of you going to the meeting last year. I know it was emotional for you, but did you like it? A x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yey I'm so excited that you took this step Angie! Good on you for being honest with your husband. So brave that you did this. You are inspiring me to go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ripley, I think honesty is important. Hubby rang me earlier and I asked him if we could have dinner early because the meeting I want to go to is at 6.15pm. I felt a bit funny telling him that I was going to another meeting - he might think I'm an alcoholic!! I think strange things sometimes! He is supportive of me not drinking but we haven't had the 'A' word talk yet. But I'm not going to worry about that right now, I'm just going to go to the meeting and go from there. A x

      Delete
  4. Great job, Angie! I'm proud of you for going. You knew what you needed and sought out the support. We all need to figure out what we need and take advantage of the support we can get!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks HD. Yes, support is important. I'm not sure what sort of support I'll get out of meetings yet but I'm willing to learn. A x

      Delete
  5. I think you have just taken a major step to ensuring your long term sobriety! That's excellent. I'm too scared to go. I'd die if I saw anyone I know. I'll keep it in mind though. I don't think I'd like to talk in front of a group though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I could stand up in front of a group and talk either! I'm happy to just sit back and listen at this point. I worry too about seeing someone I know, but I'm not going to let that stop me. A x

      Delete
  6. Good for you! I'm so glad you found it a positive experience. It's so easy to come up with reasons for not going (well, for me it is!) but a real life connection to people who understand each others' difficulties is really special.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks IH. Yes, it was a positive experience. I'm so glad I finally went. A x

      Delete
  7. So brave Angie - right from your description of arriving and going inside my heart was kinda in my mouth - I'd have been so nervous I might have run away!! What a great positive experience though. Please let us know what the next one is like, and if you get your chip. Congrats on 180 days! Red xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks Red. I went to another meeting last night. It was different to the first one, but it was still good. I will write about it in my next post. Still no chip though! I hope you're feeling better. It's lousy when you don't feel well. A x

    ReplyDelete
  9. First meeting! Wonderful!! I felt like I'd fimally found my tribe; my home, when I began going to meetings. 180 days is nothing to sneeze at! Keep up the good work. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Abbie. Day 184 today! I'm hoping to make some friendships too. A x

      Delete
  10. Angie, I'm so pleased the meeting went well for you! I had been thinking about it and wondering. As I read this post, when you wrote about the part where they asked if there were newcomers and you put up your hand I actually squealed out loud in my living room! I think I learned more from your meeting than I did from the several I attended. I went to a few meetings but NEVER EVER did that! I'm super impressed with you stepping into it fully. Sounds like a great experience for you. Really good to read this. Hooray you! And congrats on 180 days if I didn't already say that! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Thirsty. That's it. I wanted to step into it fully. It's scary going that first time, but I feel more comfortable each time I go. Actually being in a room with people who really understand each other is an amazing feeling. Now I need to find a home group. A x

      Delete
  11. YAY!!!
    I am SO glad it went well for you!!
    I was hoping it would!!
    You are growing in so many areas of your life, Angie!!!
    You are just delightful!!
    xo
    Wendy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Wendy, that means a lot to me. It's lovely to have you back. I hope your mum is on the mend. A x

      Delete