Wow, it's two weeks since I last blogged. Where has the time gone?!
Well, a bit's been going on.
Last Thursday marked the 20th year anniversary of a tragedy that occurred in my husbands family. I can't really talk about it here, but it was a highly emotional few days for us all.
Then last Friday we took my brother-in-law out to lunch for his birthday. His new girlfriend (he is separated from his wife) was there, plus my mother and father-in-law. It was a lovely lunch, but I found myself having to explain why I wasn't drinking anymore. Firstly, my brother-on-law produced a bottle of wine and said that he knew I wasn't drinking anymore but I was welcome to have a glass if I wanted one. Wtf?! Then I found myself having to explain why I wasn't drinking anymore. I didn't really mind, but I was pretty evasive. I just told them that I felt like a break, want to lose weight and be healthier and that alcohol doesn't agree with my endometriosis, which is all true. Everyone was supportive and proud of me, but I can't help be annoyed that I have to explain it at all. Why can't I just say I don't drink anymore? That I gave it up. Like smoking. I guess it will always be the same. Anyway, the main thing is that I had a lovely lunch with family and I didn't drink.
It was our 12th wedding anniversary last week. Normally that would be celebrated with several glasses of champagne and wine. Every year on our anniversary, we get a complimentary stay at the hotel where we had our wedding reception. It's a fantastic deal and we've gone back every year. Of course, this usually involves lots of alcohol! In fact, last year I broke nearly a month of sobriety on that night. But this year, I didn't! Af all the way. We checked in to the hotel, and instead of wine, we had diet coke. And same with dinner. It's amazing how much money you save when you aren't drinking. $30-$40 saved for a start at dinner. No need for a cab, so another saving there (although we ended up hopping on a tram so we wouldn't have to worry about parking) And the best bit was waking up the following morning without a hangover. Heaven!
Then the next day, we went to my oldest brother's place to celebrate my nephew's 16th birthday. Hubby and 2 of my brothers had a few beers but of course my other brother drank way too much. I was hoping to have a chat with him, just about how good being af feels and that you can still have fun when not drinking, but the chance didn't come up. And by the end of the day, he was very drunk. I'm afraid for him. He's going to hit bottom soon, if he hasn't already.
Then on Sunday we had my husbands nephew's First Holy Communion. Another day where alcohol was served but not for me. This time, not one person asked me why, which was a relief!
I'm hoping that my not drinking will soon be viewed as the norm and I will no longer have to explain myself.
So, it's been a busy week!! Yesterday was supposed to be the little guy's school sports day but it was cancelled due to bad weather. Mum came over anyway and we spent the day together. In all honesty though, I was dying for a quiet day on my own. And today, I'm going to a friends place for lunch. So, I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I can have a day to myself to relax and chill out a bit!
I have been so tired! I haven't been sleeping well, despite taking a sleeping tablet. Last night when I went to bed my heart was racing and my head was pounding, it was really scary! Not sure what that was about. I also had a sense of doom, of everything being hopeless, there being no point to anything and just overwhelmed with life in general. Not sure if this is anxiety or PAWS, but I don't like it. I feel better today, but still so tired. I'm hoping to have a better sleep tonight.
So, here I am, on day 164. Like I said, a lot has been going on but I am still sober!!