Thursday, 21 April 2016

150 days! Can you believe it? Because I can't and yet here I am!!

Day 150 nearly over. I can't quite believe it! Nearly 5 months! I've never been alcohol free for this long before, and now that I'm here, the thought of doing this forever doesn't scare me as much as it used to. I mean, it still does of course, but just not as much. 6 months is within my reach, and after that, I might pledge to a WHOLE YEAR AF!! The thought of being booze free for a whole year used to fill me with fear. I never thought I could do it in a million years. But now the world is my oyster and anything is possible.

I really want to start working on growing as a person now. I have wasted so many years drinking, I don't want to waste anymore. I want to become more spiritually enlightened, and get to know myself. I have absolutely no idea who I am. I'm nearly 50 years old (OMG! I am never saying that again!!) and I don't know who I am. How sad is that?

So I'm going to try some mindfulness meditation. I saw some on you tube, that will do for a start. I would also like to try yoga, Everyone raves about how good it is for you, especially in recovery (still not sure if that word applies to me but I'll practice using it for a bit and see how it rolls off my tongue). I have a yoga for beginners dvd that I may as well give a try. And the last few days I have done a workout at home. Nothing too strenuous as I am quite unfit so just starting slowly, But it's a start. I'm beginning to concentrate on me and what my body needs. It had wine poured into it for so long, it will benefit hugely from some exercise and a better diet (well, I'll try anyway. Daily chocolate still seems to be a thing). Baby steps. You can't undo years of drinking in 5 months, it's going to take time and there is a process involved.

I'm still thinking of going to an AA meeting. I'm longing to meet some sober people in real life (since I can't meet my lovey sober tribe in real life :( ). Just have to find one that is at a suitable time. I've been putting it off for a while now so I should really start looking into it.

I showed my husband the sobriety clock on my iphone this evening -150 - it said. He gave me a hug and said he was proud of me. That made me feel good.

We went out to dinner to celebrate our friend D's birthday tonight. His wife C drank 4 champagnes and then when we went back to there place to do the cake, she and her hubby drank the whole bottle of red wine that we gave him for his birthday. I could see that C was quite tipsy, and all I could think of was how that would have been me 5 months ago.  I would be drinking right along with her and we probably would have even had more! So glad that's not me anymore. I am going to wake up a bit tired tomorrow morning (it's now 12.41 in the morning) but I won't have a hangover, and that is the best feeling in the world!

Our dinner venue was a classic pub, with people playing pool and a beer garden out the back. It had a good atmosphere and took me straight back to the days before we had the little guy and used to go out quite a bit. I must admit, I did feel a little nostalgic for those times, and a little sad because I couldn't have a glass like EVERYONE else in the pub! But it was ok, I sadly accepted that I can't do that anymore no matter how nice those first 2 or 3 glasses feel.

But it was a lovely night out with friends. I can happily come along to events like this and be totally fine drinking my diet coke, whilst everyone else has either a beer or a sparkling wine. That's my life now and it's fine.

So yeah, 150 days. Woo hoo!! (i don't even think it's a milestone day but it feels like one to me!)  

A x




27 comments:

  1. Huge Congratulations! Very happy for you xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jackie. Can I just tell you that I'm loving your podcasts! Keep them coming please! A x

      Delete
  2. Tears! This post makes me so happy Angie! What a beautiful way to celebrate your 150th day! I love that you are working on self development. Meditation and Yoga are on my list too as is some kind of in person meeting. But finding one that fits my schedule is hard too. And you made it through an evening covered in alcohol beautifully! GO ANGIE!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ripley, I have wasted so many years I don't want to waste anymore! Since I started blogging back in 2014 I have been reading how wonderful being sober is, now I want to really experience that joy myself. I'm learning that you have to work at it though. So that's what I'm going to work towards. A x

      Delete
    2. I wish there was a like button here! Like! like! like!

      Delete
  3. You are amazing! I am so so proud of you. It is beyond any words. You are my inspiration. You truly are. Hugs. I wish we could meet in real life and talk. Well... You never know. Maybe one day. I am looking forward to my birthday next month. Sober b-day! I will be 43. I want to call it a year when got sober.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Time. You are so sweet. Come to Australia and we can meet!! That's a wonderful thing to work towards, your next birthday sober. I know you can do it. I have complete faith in you. A x

      Delete
  4. This whole post makes me happy.
    My book is on Amazon, maybe they ship to Australia?
    It is very basic, but craig liked it. And he is a tough one! Lol

    Keep going. You are doing awesome. And there is so much to do!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anne, I will definitely check it out. Hopefully they ship to Australia! A x

      Delete
    2. I just ordered your book! Can't wait to get it in the mail!

      Delete
  5. Angie,
    I am SO proud of you!!!
    You never gave up, and you are now ready for more fun!!
    Yoga, a meeting, and mediation!!
    xoxox
    Wendy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Wendy,
      Yes, I'm getting there slowly. Not drinking is the main thing, but now I'm wanting more. I'm hoping that it is possible for me. A x

      Delete
  6. Thank you for the inspiration! I am on day 73..You make me feel excited to get to day 150! And, I so here you about the nostalgia!! Tonight, I finally sat on a loveseat that we have after 73 days because that is where I used to drink my wine! I did it today without even realizing it! But, then it hit me. Nostalgic! Congrats again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sober at 53. 73 days is awesome. And well done for finally sitting on your loveseat. It's funny how we associate certain things with drinking. It's just a matter of retraining out brains that fun things we used to do when we drank can be just as fun when we are not drinking. I guess it just takes time. But we are doing it and that's the main thing!! A x

      Delete
  7. well done Angie, delighted for you. A year is defo within your reach xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kats. To think a year is within reach?! I never would have thought it before I started! How are you going? A x

      Delete
  8. Well done you!
    Interesting, I want to work on spiritual side of things too. Think that will bring a whole load more comfort and well being than a bottle! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes so true. I have always had a spiritual side but since I started on this journey, I feel a pull to it even more. A x

      Delete
  9. Oh Angie the difference in your tone is so clear and so RESOLUTE you sound like you are in a great place right now and you should be so proud. You are always humble, gracious and grateful and I think that is helping you and why people are rooting for you. I think you are doing AMAZING and I wish you genuine happiness going forward. Not sure who does the yoga tape for beginners but I hope it is Rodney Yee. He is awesome, gentle and verrrry easy on the eye. Give yoga a good try, I am sure it will help you continue to grow and expand your positivity. Well done Angie, you have heaps to be proud of. One day I hope I can stand in your shoes and feel like you do now. Huge hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ginger. I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. I really want to try yoga, I've heard so many good things about it. The instructor on my tape is Elena Brower. I bought it off ebay ages ago and have never done it! You will get to where I am one day. If you want it badly enough, keep trying. It is so worth it. A x

      Delete
  10. Congratulations, that's so good. I love how you said the thought of not drinking is not as scary anymore. To me that means alcohol is losing its hold. I was wondering how long it would take and I know everyone is different. I hope I can get tot he place where I am no longer addicted to alcohol. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. It is getting much less scary as time goes on. And hopefully it will get even more so as I get further along. A x

      Delete
  11. 150 days! BRILLIANT. And you are such a huge support to me. Annie x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Annie. It's lovely to get your comment! I'm on day 162 today! A x

      Delete
  12. Angie, brilliant, well done. I hit 5 months on 2 Jun and mirror your feelings. I just don't think more than a day ahead but I don't plan to stop stopping. Really nothing else matters now - something I should have realised a long time ago.

    Keep going. You are an inspiration to me and all those who are also trying.

    Justonemore

    ReplyDelete