Day 54

I'm back home after a lovely week in the country with my family. I'm sorry I haven't responded to the comments on my last post. It was hard to blog in a household full of people!

It was frustrating having mum refer to my not drinking as 'doing my no wine thing' and 'Dry Julying'. But in fairness to her, she doesn't know the real story. She doesn't know because I haven't told her. She knows I drank too much, and wanted me to cut down. But I didn't come out and give a big announcement. I didn't want any fuss, and I guess I don't want people to know how bad it was. How bad I was. I still can't admit it to myself half the time. So, in the end it doesn't matter that mum didn't give me credit for not drinking. The main thing is that I'm not drinking. 

I was really pleased to see my brother cutting down on his alcohol intake. I didn't get a chance to have a good chat with him about it, but I did tell him that I'm not drinking for 100 days. I was hoping I might inspire him. But I wish I had had a chance to talk to him some more. To find out what he is thinking. It was just hard with 14 people in the house! He really needs help to stop drinking as he is physically dependent. He would need a medically supervised detox. But at least he is thinking about his drinking. That's a start.

I thought I might have some cravings whilst away but I didn't. I won't lie though, I did think a couple of times that it would be nice to have a glass of wine around the camp fire. But then I told myself that it wouldn't have been one glass and I would have felt dreadful in the morning. So they were just fleeting thoughts really, not cravings as such.

It feels good to know I can go on a holiday and not drink. Okay, so it wasn't a beach holiday in the summer but it was still a holiday. I usually drink heaps when I'm at mums and last visit I even hid bottles of wine under the bed. So to know I don't need to drink whist up there feels good.

Tonight we are going out to dinner with my friend C and her hubby and son. I enjoy going out with them. I am going to have to be firm though and tell her that I am not drinking for an extended period. Hopefully she will get it and not pressure me to drink.

Today is day 54. Can you believe it?!! I can't. I never thought I would get this far. It feels so good.

A x