Today is day 60. I can't quite believe it! I think I will get myself something special to mark the occasion.
I have been thinking of going to an AA meeting. But I'm a little afraid. A part of me wants to get a chip to mark my 60 days but I feel guilty going just for that. But I'd also like to see what they are all about. I want to go somewhere where I will be anonymous and where there will be now chance anyone will know me, which means going to one outside my suburb. I'm thinking of going today. We will see. I have the address of a meeting in the city for 12.30pm. I will let you know what happens.
I feel like I should have lots to say but my mind has gone blank. Maybe I'm just tired.
I bought the book 'Blackout - Remembering the things I drank to forget' by Sarah Hepola. I've only just started reading it but it's good so far. I have ordered another book called 'Best Kept Secret' by Amy Hatvany (thanks SM for the recommendation) so I'm looking forward to reading that. I also have 'How to lead a happier, healthier, and alcohol-free life' by Lucy Rocca to read. I love getting new books to put on my shelf. I have quite a selection now! I am still reading 'Dry' by Ann Dowsett Johnston, but I put it down a while ago and got side tracked. I will finish it one day. Oh, and I also have 'Glass Half Full' also by Lucy Rocca so looking forward to that one as well. So I have plenty of books to keep me going for a while!
Mum is in town and is coming to stay with us for a few days. I think she is coming on Saturday. It will be interesting to see if she makes any comments about my not drinking. She thinks I'm doing an unofficial Dry July. I'm not sure if I'll tell her otherwise. I think I will wait and see and play it by ear. I have always been close to mum but lately I have felt a divide. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's just me getting older. I don't know. I hope we have some quality time together this visit.
One of my favourite Australian tv shows resumed this week. There is a character who nearly died after rescuing a woman from a fire, and it looks like he is developing a drinking problem. It will be interesting to see how they deal with the story line. I hope they do it justice. But being a tv show, I wouldn't be surprised if they get it wrong!
Anyway, I'd better get going. I'm going to head into the city and try and get the courage to go to a meeting.
A x
Hi Angie,
ReplyDeleteI think I drove across town for an AA meeting and, looking back, there was no hushed silence as I entered the room. It was just another meeting to everyone else. But I get where you're coming from. I think Woody Allen said "eighty percent of success is showing up."
And as for sharing your sobriety - keep it on the down low for now - it can jst add extra layers of pressure. Last we need is everyone slapping you on the back for "giving up drinking" when it's one day at a time.
Keep going, you're doing really well!
Bren
Hi Bren,
DeleteYou're right about adding extra layers of pressure. It's something I definitely don't need right now. I put enough pressure on myself as it is!!
A x
Hi Angie!
ReplyDeleteThe first times I tried a meeting, I didn't like it. But later I found some good ones. It's just another layer of support for me. The people will understand.
I hope you had a good experience if you went to one.
Hugs!!
Wendy
Hi Wendy,
DeleteI'm hoping to find a good one. I'm still hesitant about going. But people seem to get a lot out of them so I think I should at least give it a go.
A x
Huge congrats on 60 days Angie! Make sure you treat yourself. It's obligatory. Pedicure? Massage? New shoes? Let us know how meeting goes if you make it - I've never been brave enough. Love SM x
ReplyDeleteThanks SM. I remember when you were at 60 days and I wondered if I'd ever get there. And here I am!! A x
DeleteI love my meetings! Going in the first one was the hardest thing I ever did..... it does take courage for sure..... But, you have courage.... you've given up drinking for 60 days!!! That's amazing girl!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your decision. I don't think you'll regret going..... may make a new friend in the process..
hugs....
Thanks sober mommy. Unfortunately I still don't have courage. I'm hoping to one day soon though. I like the idea of making new sober friends. My online family is wonderful but I'd love to have someone to meet in person. A x
Deletehope you got on well today. well done on day 60!! brill. totally. : )
ReplyDeleteThanks Kats. I almost got there! I'll explain in my next post. A x
DeleteOne of the best things that happened for me was meeting an acquaintance at a meeting. We have become better friends.
ReplyDeleteConsider going closer to home. You never know who you might find. And that in person camaraderie is hard to beat.
It is scary. But it's exciting as well.
If you think that you need to attend and be with other who are in the same situation as you, then by all means go for it. But should you find that it is not your cup of tea, maybe spending time with friends that understand what you’re going through would be the next best thing. In the end, it’s all about getting support from people that care, so that you can push on and not waver. Good luck with whatever you decide on doing!
ReplyDeleteSabra Hoffmann @ Stark Behavioral Health