Day 5

I sometimes struggle to write in my blog. I read so many interesting and well written blogs, and find them so helpful, but when it comes to my own, I struggle. Should I write something just for the sake of it or just leave it for another day? Should I delve into my past and try to resolve issues that have been festering for years? Should I write about what I did yesterday even if it wasn't anything exciting? I don't know. Sometimes words just escape me.

Maybe it's just because I'm tired. I'm still struggling with broken sleep and waking up really tired. I know this will eventually improve, but in the meantime I just feel shattered. I know going to bed earlier would help. It's just that the evenings go so quickly. By the time the little guy goes to sleep and hubby and I watch something on tv it's nearly midnight. What do other people with kids do?

We went out for dinner the other night. I had a diet coke and then a water. I've always loved going out for dinner. But the treaty part of it was always the wine. It's funny, because I drank wine every night at home, but it was somehow more special drinking when dining out at a restaurant. Now my perception is changing and I'm beginning to see that it's the going out for dinner that is the treaty part of it and not the drink. And it's the company you keep, and the conversation. So, that's nice. These occasions aren't boring without wine after all!

I ordered Ann Dowsett-Johnston's book and it finally arrived yesterday. I've only read a few pages, but it's interesting so far. I was thinking I might go back and read some of my other sober memoirs. I read quite a few of them last year when I was thinking about giving up alcohol, and may even been a bit drunk when I read some of them, so it would probably be helpful to go back and read them again from a different prospective. I feel like I've come a long way since last year and slowly but surely my mind set is changing. 'Forever' still scares me but not as much as it used to.

My sister-in-law was recently talking about the new Taylor Swift song that her daughter loves, and I realise that I've never heard it! I used to listen to the radio in the car all the time so would here all the new songs by popular artists. Now though, I listen to the Bubble Hour whenever I get in the car. I love it! It's my little secret routine and I find it really helpful. The girls and the guest speakers on the Bubble Hour are awesome!

Well, I've managed to waffle on about nothing really! Not sure if there is much point to it, but I guess it's good to keep blogging. I know in the past I've let my blog lapse when I think I am doing alright, and each time, I eventually started drinking again. So, this time, I'm trying everything I can not to do that.

Have a great Friday everyone!

A x