Friday, 8 May 2015

Day 1...again

So, back to day 1. I know I have had quite a few. But I can't worry about that right now. I just know that I have to start again and that means being back at day 1.

It's amazing how you can get to 25 days without alcohol and then undo it all in just a few days. It is so easy to get into the mindset of 'oh bugger it! I've stuffed up now, so may as well keep going'. But I'm not going to do that. Those 25 days without alcohol were awesome. It was 25 days that I didn't pour poison down my throat or have hangovers or shame or guilt. Sure, I may have stuffed up, but I have learnt from that. So here I am again.

I went out for dinner last night with some of the mums from school. There were six of us. Three of us had 2 glasses of wine and the other three just had water. No one questioned it. No one had to explain themselves. Well, one of them is pregnant so that's an obvious reason, but the other two just didn't drink. I did think of just having water too, but unfortunately I didn't. It was a lovely evening though, and thankfully, having wine didn't spoil anything.

But then I came home and had a few more glasses. And I decided that I'd had enough. I don't want to do this anymore. So I tipped the rest of the bottle down the sink (there was a little less than half a bottle left) I woke up tired and a bit seedy this morning. Little guy has been sick with a cold so I kept him home again today and we are having a quiet day. I don't want to feel like this again. Thankfully I haven't got a raging hangover, but I do have that tired feeling that only happens when you've had alcohol the night before. That not quite right feeling that is like no other. But NO MORE! I don't want to feel like this ever again!

I'm even thinking about signing up for the 100 day challenge. The thought of 100 days scared me but I think I need to do this.

A x


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10 comments:

  1. SoberMummy8 May 2015 at 20:01

    You go girl! Keep at it, Angie. We're all rooting for you. Xx

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    Replies
    1. Angie9 May 2015 at 10:34

      Thanks SM. It's so nice knowing I have your support. A x

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  2. Kats768 May 2015 at 23:06

    Good luck Angie, the 100 day challenge seems like a good idea to keep you motivated. you will do great. That 'not quite right feeling' is truly awful. I never want it again either! Best of luck - Kats

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    Replies
    1. Angie9 May 2015 at 10:35

      Thanks Kats. I have been thinking of doing the 100 day challenge for a long time now, but haven't been ready before. This time I think I am. A x

      Delete
  3. Ainsobriety9 May 2015 at 00:24

    I think the 100 day challenge would be a good form of support. And consider checking out meetings around you.
    You don't ever have to have that feeling again. I know it's scary, but sober is so much better.

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    Replies
    1. Angie9 May 2015 at 10:40

      Thank you Anne. I have looked on the AA website and looked at where meetings are held but that is as far as I've got. I am considering them. I am so grateful to have your support. It is helping me so much. A x

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  4. Untipsyteacher9 May 2015 at 08:14

    Dear Angie,
    Anne is right on.
    Remember, it's just one day at a time.
    One hour at a time.
    I have to say, I never thought I could do it either.
    But I did.
    You can too!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Angie9 May 2015 at 10:42

      Thanks Wendy. I like the one day at a time concept. Unfortunately I keep wavering from it and getting caught up in forever, but I'm going to really try and concentrate on one day at a time. You are doing so well, I hope I do one day too. A x

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  5. Time and the Bottle11 May 2015 at 02:13

    You know what... I admire you for your honesty. In the past when I fell off my sobriety wagon, I'd crawled into my unhappy and lonely hole and stayed there. Alone. Not telling anyone. You are open and honest.
    You are not alone in this struggle. Take one day at a time. My longest ever sober time was 22 days. And then... I don't even remember what triggered my first glass of wine. It was easy after that first glass...
    I am also thinking to sign up for a 100 day challenge. I hope that if I get to that last 100th day, I won't even think about drinking anymore.
    Stay strong!

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    Replies
    1. Angie11 May 2015 at 12:25

      Thank you for your kind words. I too am hoping that after 100 days I will not feel like going back to drinking. I know there will be many many challenge along the way though and I just hope I will be strong enough to abstain. I used to think 100 days AF was forever but it's hardly a drop in the sober ocean. Fingers crossed for us! A x

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