Friday 29 May 2015

I need some motivation please!

Day 12 today and still feeling tired. I keep getting told that it will take a while for this tiredness to go away, but I'm becoming impatient! I wonder how much of my tiredness is to do with my low iron levels and how much of it is related to giving up alcohol. Who knows, I just hope I feel better soon.

Tomorrow little guy and I are going to the movies with our friends, then we are having dinner together. I'm not worried as I have been out to dinner a lot whilst not drinking, but my friend C likes a drink so will be interesting to see what she says when she sees me not drinking. I haven't told anyone that I'm doing the 100 day challenge. I'm not sure why, it's just a personal thing I guess. I will have to say something eventually but for now, I think I will just say I'm having a break because I want to lose weight, which is true in a way. I DO want to lose weight, desperately! In fact, it's so frustrating that I haven't lost any weight yet. Maybe it's too soon? Anyway, C has been cutting down on alcohol lately and not drinking during the week (or so she says) because she is on a health kick, so I'm sure she won't think too much of me not drinking.  I'll let you know how it goes.

One of the things I really hated when I was drinking was that I had zero motivation to do anything. Our house needs a major decluttering but I just never had the energy to do anything. So of course it is hard to keep tidy which meant I never invited people over because I was too embarrassed. Now that I'm not drinking I really want to get stuck into it, but I still don't have the energy! It's just so frustrating!! I want to have a lovely home that I am not embarrassed about. I want to be able to have people over at a moments notice without having to worry that the house is a mess. So that's my new goal. To get stuck into some decluttering and organising our home. It looks lovely when it's tidy, it's just that we have so much STUFF! It doesn't help that hubby is a bit of a hoarder and doesn't like to get rid of anything. Maybe if I do it on the sly he won't notice?!

When I was drinking a bottle of wine a night, hubby would often drink just as much as me. But now that I'm not drinking, he doesn't drink wine at all. But he will have beer. Usually just one or two of an evening and that's it. I've never been a beer drinker, but I'm certain that if I did drink it I wouldn't be able to stop at one or two! I guess that makes him a 'normie'. It's funny though, I don't mind him drinking, it doesn't make me want one at all. I do sometimes wish that I was a normie, but it's no use wasting energy on something that isn't going to happen.

Anyway, I'd better go and get organised. I am determined to start operation declutter TODAY and I'm not going to put it off any longer!!

A x





16 comments:

  1. Hi! I just started 7 days ago. I haven't felt too tired - I've been sleeping deeper though so that helps. I was a little freaked out last night as Thursday is the beginning of my weekend so it would normally involve a bottle of wine. Instead I scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom and read my book!

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  2. p.s. I've added you to my blogroll over at Soberwithstyle.com hope that's ok!

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    1. Hi Poppy, thank's for that. I will pop over to your blog. I love discovering new blogs! Maybe I should get stuck into some cleaning! I just have to find some motivation! I'm hoping it will come soon. A x

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  3. We all want instant change. Instant gratification. I know. Me too.
    But sometimes we just have to take the journey.
    I admit. I was tired for a long time. And unmotivated. Eventually I decided clutter was fine. It only bothered me anyway.
    Healing is a slow process. The body does amazing things. But it takes time.

    As an aside - it is uncommon to find people who lose weight in early sobriety. Most of us use treats as a way to deal with those early feelings. Of deprivation. And that is a really good thing.
    And part of it is letting go of years of rules and trying to just be.

    I went into starvation mode. I don't recommend that either. Extremes in anything only work to hurt us.

    Somewhere the solution is self acceptance. Brent brown was my inspiration.
    If you haven't read the gifts of imperfection yet, please, please do. It is amazing.

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    1. You are so right Anne. I have to remember that I can't undo years of damage overnight. I drank for many years, so healing will take time.
      I ordered that book from the library but didn't pick it up so missed out. I must re-order it. Lots of people have recommended it, so it must be good!
      I do need to learn to just be. Instead of always trying to change and be something else. Self acceptance is something that I really need to work on.
      Thanks as always for your advice. It's wonderful to have your support.
      A x

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    2. This is one book worth buying. Brene is one smart lady.
      Watch her Ted talks.

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  4. Re the De cluttering ... my mr is a HOARDER!! when we moved house a few years ago I made so many secret trips to the tip and he couldn't tell you to this day what was thrown out ... shows how much he needed it... i was careful not to throw anything valuable or sentimental mind. Good luck with the De cluttering it's very hard to find motivation especially when drinking xx

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    1. That's a great idea! I'm sure if I gradually took some things to the op shop he wouldn't even notice! I tend to hold onto things too, but I'm sick of it. I have clothes in all different sizes that I just can't through out! But I'm working on changing. A x

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  5. Right now, go easy on yourself. Don't worry about changing the world, just worry about getting better and the rest will follow. The being tired is normal, take some cat naps.
    As far as telling your friend that you're not drinking, act proud of it, because you should be. Act excited about it, talk about the plans you have for this 100, make some big plans. She might decide to join you.

    My husband is a hoarder too, the minute I throw something away, he knows about it. Get some plastic bins and throw his stuff in it, at least it looks neater.

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    1. I sometimes have a cat nap after I drop the little guy at school. It helps, but I waste so much of the day!
      I'll have to tell my friend eventually but for now, I don't feel ready.
      The plastic bins are a great idea! Might have to invest some of those!
      A x

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  6. It seems to be a common trait among drinkers, this need to go to extremes in everything we do. In your first 30 days or so, it's ok to just be. Give yourself time to heal up your body from the alcohol and also to heal your mind. Believe me, I know how easy it is to take one positive change and turn it into a barrage of "shoulds" that leave us feeling overwhelmed. Don't do that to yourself. Give yourself permission to do what feels good to you, especially in the first 30 days. If tidying up a little makes you feel better, then by all means, do that, but don't turn it into "I MUST CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE NOW!" And I agree with Kary above - be proud of what you're doing. When I first stopped drinking, I was worried about my friends' opinions, but now I just tell people I don't drink anymore. Sometimes I make a joke of it and say I was getting too good at it, so I stopped. :-) Keep going, and be gentle with yourself. You will feel better and better, it just takes some time.

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    1. Thanks for your advice. It really helps. I do tend to get impatient and want things NOW. I must try and let go of that and just be. As for my friend, I will have to tell her eventually. I just don't feel ready yet. I think she will understand when I do, even if she is a little disappointed.
      I have often heard people say to be gentle with yourself. It's good advice and I need to start listening.
      A x

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  7. Have you heard of the KonMari way of de cluttering ? It looks interesting you can look it up on google!

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    1. I have heard of that, in fact, I have ordered the book from the library so am curious to see what it's like. Thanks for the tip!
      A x

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  8. Dear Angie,
    I found out I need to take B12, and I am hoping that helps my energy level.
    You just need to keep in mind a drawer at a time.
    If I start little I can often keep going.
    Everyone had good advice.
    I just want to wish you a wonderful day!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Thanks Wendy. Maybe I should start taking B12 too. Will look into it.I really appreciate everyone's advice. I find it really helps. A x

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