Monday, 7 March 2016


When I used to drink, I wouldn't get a lot done. Every day I would regret another wasted day. Not tidying up the house, not going through the little guys closet and getting rid of all his old clothes, not going through my own wardrobe, not mopping the floors and the list goes on and on.

I would get up in the morning feeling tired and hungover, take the little guy to school and come back home and crawl back in to bed and sleep for a few hours. I would then get up, feel terribly guilty. Guilty for wasting half the day, guilty for being hungover, guilty for drinking again, just guilty for everything. Then before I knew it it would be time for school pickup, time to cook dinner and crack open the wine again. Of course the evening would be a write off too. I would stay up late, drinking a bottle or more and then wake up the next morning feeling shit again. Groundhog day.

When I gave up drinking 3 and a half months ago, I thought everything would change. I thought I would have boundless energy, not be tired anymore, get heaps of stuff done and miraculously become a morning person.

This hasn't happened!!

I still stay up late watching tv. We've been having problems getting the little guy to bed and to sleep early so by the time he nods off it's quite late and really late when our shows have finished. So of course I am tired in the morning. And I'm embarrassed to say, that I still sometimes go back to bed after school drop off. Then I hate myself for this. For still not getting anything done during the day, the tidying and sorting still not done. Floors still not mopped. Clutter still around. Uggh! I hate it!!

Even on the days that I don't go back to bed (which to my credit are more than the days that I do) I still sit around all morning on the computer and nothing gets done. And before I know it it's time for school pickup.

Why am I still like this?!

Take today for example. I got back from school pick up, had breakfast, then sat on the couch with the laptop and turned the tv on to have the morning shows on in the background. It is now nearly 2 pm and other than making the beds, I have done nothing other than be on the computer.

My plan this morning was to write in my blog, spend no more than an hour on the computer, then get up and GET STUFF DONE.

Instead, I found a new sober blog and before I knew it hours had passed and I still hadn't written in my own.

I so was to change this pattern. But how? I love my morning ritual of reading sober blogs (and catching up on facebook too of course!) but it's not working. I'm not getting anything done. I am so lazy and I don't want to be this person any more.

Please help!

A x


  1. Hi Angie. Not sure I can help you a lot as I fall into the same thing sometimes. But I have 2 suggestions, both of which help me with this. The first one is practical: use a timer. When I know I really, absolutely need to get something done, I set my clock to get up early and do it. I do better with projects when I'm a little busy, and terribly when I'm either not busy or I have no set tasks to accomplish. Could you do something like that? Set your clock so you have an hour (or whatever) on sober blogs in the morning and then schedule yourself to do the one or two things on your list that you know you can get done, and then treat yourself with some planned treat for getting them done? I'm hit and miss about doing that, but when I do, it works pretty well.

    The second suggestion is to go easy on yourself. (That one's hard for me, but my husband reminds me of it often enough.) You've stopped drinking and are trying to make some changes, and it all takes effort. Make sure to celebrate what you're doing well, rather than just being hard on yourself for the infinity of things that inevitably remain undone.

    Well, that's just some thoughts from me. Great to see you're still sober and doing so well with that! Good luck finding a way to cope with getting some tasks done. xo

    1. The second suggestion is how life becomes easy.

    2. Thanks for your great advice Thirsty. I don't think I'm ready to set the alarm and get up earlier (maybe in the future) but I like the idea of going easy on myself. It's hard though. i have had guilt for so long it's hard to forgive myself and to go easy on myself. Something I have to work on. A x

    3. Thanks Anne, maybe I do need to go easier on myself. It's hard though. Something to work on. A x

  2. Hi Angie! I agree with Thirsty Still! Go easy on yourself. You're doing an amazing thing, and that time spent reading sober blogs etc is all part of the therapy! The rest will come in time.
    I find that if your list of stuff to 'get done' is too long you do none of it - it's too scary. So each day I write down just 2 or 3 things I really want to achieve. It's not much, but by the end of the week that's at least 14 things ticked off.
    Baby steps... Xxx

    1. I like this idea - writing down just 2 or 3 things to get done. I tend to get overwhelmed with everything I need to get done and then nothing gets done! I will try this approach. Thanks. A x

  3. Hi I agree with SoberMummy, at list too long and you will do nothing. It might be easier to break downs into manageable chunks and you will be suprised what you can achieve over time. In saying that I do think being constantly overwhelmed and unable to tackle tasks on a daily basis is a bit worrying.... might I suggest you try ensuring you are getting (at least) 3 power walks every week for a minimum of 45 mins. There is an incredible connection between our physical actions and our mental health. You could also invest in a good fishoil and B complex vitamins.
    Social Media you gotta sort out. It is totally addictive. You can control this and make a choice. Pick your favourite blogs (about ten in my case), follow them, comment and then log out. No excuses here. Its wasting your time. Indulge a bit but then log out.
    I hope you feel better soon. I have gone off drink lots times over the last 5 years. One time for a year. It isn't the amazing transformative experience some people seem to have but it is a better, happier, simpler life. Look into your own heart, live the life you want to live. maybe a morning yoga class would get you out of the house and set you up for the day. Currently I am walking lots and listening to wayne dyerer audio books as i have no time to read with 3 little ones : )

    1. Thanks Kats. I would love to go for power walks, but unfortunately I have a sore hip at the moment so it's not really possible. I could probably try though and just go a bit slower. I know it would help.
      I guess everyone is different. Maybe the amazing transformative stuff comes further down the track. For the moment, not drinking has to be enough. A x

    2. forgot about your hip sorry!!

  4. The body takes a long time to heal. So does the mind.
    Here is what I found...
    One of the secrets of sobriety is to just be. To not do everything. To rest. To let things go. And to notice that the world doesn't end when we do.
    And then maybe to ask others to do more. To let go of the need to have everything our own way.
    Part of that comes with changing the internal dialogue. It is ok to spend the day reading blogs. It is ok to have grilled cheese for dinner. It is ok. You are worthy, deserving and loved. No matter what.

    Brene brown's the gifts of imperfection really spoke to me about this. To let go of the need to do to prove my worth.

    Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would your son.


    1. Thanks Anne, your words of wisdom really touch a chord with me. I find it hard to just be. I have so much guilt about my drinking that I feel I should be doing more and being better sooner. I have that book but I haven't started reading it yet. Maybe I should?
      I will try and be gentle with myself. It's just hard sometimes. A x

  5. I felt the same way Angie. I still do some days. But it all gets done in the end. The laundry gets done, dinner gets cooked - it all happens. And I spend LOTS of time reading blogs. Totally agree with both SM and Anne. I have a list of stuff to do which is shoved in a drawer. I get it out once a day and do a couple of things on it. Then I feel better, and often, I do lots more - but some days I do nothing except read. It's OK. It takes a while. This is normal. You'll get there.xx

    1. You're right Jackie. The essentials do get done. But I will try to get a couple of things done every day and see how I go. I guess it doesn't have to all get done at once. I suppose it's still early days, I have to remember that. A x

  6. Yes to all of the above wonderful comments!
    I struggle with this too.
    We simply cannot be productive 24/7.
    We need rest. Be kind to yourself. You are probably getting more done than you think. Just picking up little guy, making dinner, and getting him to bed is a lot of work!

    1. Thanks Wendy. I just feel I should be doing more. I felt guilty for so long when I was drinking now that I am not drinking I feel like I should be a reformed person or something. Guess it takes time. A x

  7. It is hard! But you deserve it.

    Read the book! Lol