Here I am on day 2. And all I can say is thank God for Febfast! I am back on my sober trail and know I will be here for 28 days at least. And it hasn't been hard to do because my last 24 day stint of sobriety was still fresh and it feels like I'm just continuing on from that. But those 4 nights of drinking did happen and I have acknowledge the reason for that.
Someone asked me if I have therapy or have been to a meeting. I haven't. I'm thinking I might try seeing a therapist. There is certainly a lot of baggage I've carried around with me for most of my life and it's probably about time I started to sort through it. I need to do something because this merry-go-round of stopping for a while and then starting again is becoming exhausting. As for a meeting, I'm not sure about those. Wouldn't that mean admitting I'm an 'alcoholic'?! I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that.
I told my friend that I'm doing Febfast and she said she'd like to do it too. I saw her at school drop off this morning and asked her about it. She said she'll do it unofficially. I said we could be sober buddies and then she told me that she is going out to dinner on Thursday night and implied that she would have to have a drink then. So I don't know. Somehow I don't think I'm going to have a sober buddy after all. But it's good that I can talk to her about it. Although I don't tell her everything. Just that I have been drinking too much and that having a 'break' is good for me. Certainly no mention of the 'A' word.
Our holiday is drawing near. We are planning on going away around the 24th Feb so I won't be drinking at the start of the holiday. I'm hoping that having those few AF days at the start will put me in good stead to continue on a booze free holiday. I just hope I can stay strong!