Monday, 2 February 2015

Thank God for Febfast

Here I am on day 2. And all I can say is thank God for Febfast! I am back on my sober trail and know I will be here for 28 days at least. And it hasn't been hard to do because my last 24 day stint of sobriety was still fresh and it feels like I'm just continuing on from that. But those 4 nights of drinking did happen and I have acknowledge the reason for that.

Someone asked me if I have therapy or have been to a meeting. I haven't. I'm thinking I might try seeing a therapist. There is certainly a lot of baggage I've carried around with me for most of my life and it's probably about time I started to sort through it. I need to do something because this merry-go-round of stopping for a while and then starting again is becoming exhausting. As for a meeting, I'm not sure about those. Wouldn't that mean admitting I'm an 'alcoholic'?! I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that.

I told my friend that I'm doing Febfast and she said she'd like to do it too. I saw her at school drop off this morning and asked her about it. She said she'll do it unofficially. I said we could be sober buddies and then she told me that she is going out to dinner on Thursday night and implied that she would have to have a drink then. So I don't know. Somehow I don't think I'm going to have a sober buddy after all. But it's good that I can talk to her about it. Although I don't tell her everything. Just that I have been drinking too much and that having a 'break' is good for me. Certainly no mention of the 'A' word.

Our holiday is drawing near. We are planning on going away around the 24th Feb so I won't be drinking at the start of the holiday. I'm hoping that having those few AF days at the start will put me in good stead to continue on a booze free holiday. I just hope I can stay strong!

A x


  1. Hi Angie, good for you for Febfast. You are soo, soooo right that it is exhausting to keep getting on and off the merry go round. I stopped on Jan. 3 of this year, after a year + relapse (with a slew of Day 1s), all of which was preceded by 2.5 years of sobriety. I went to AA the first time around and it helped, especially the first several months to just get some 'tools' together and make a few live sober connections. But for me over the long haul, it got to be a bit tiresome. That said, it works for a lot of people and eventually after I quit going to meetings, I started drinking.

    This time around, I am just doing it on my own with a lot of connection to the sobersphere. I have had a therapist all along, and that helps too. So I think you should do whatever works for you, reaching out here is a very good start. If you are worried about AA, just shelve it. But if you want to find out, try a meeting (ideally a women's meeting) - you will be surprised how welcoming everyone is. And they do have some good basic information and good tools.

    If you want a sober pen pal, email me: sobrietyrising (at)

    Stay strong and have a great Monday!



    1. Thanks SR. I find your advice really helpful. I'm not ready to try AA. Not sure about the future. For now I'm happy to read sober blogs and memoirs and hopefully blog more myself. Thank you for offering to be my sober pen pal, I might take you up on the offer! Never had one before though so not sure what I'm supposed to say? It's wonderful knowing that there are other people out there who have done this before and know what I'm going through. I really appreciate the support. A x

  2. Angie, I'll be your sober buddy and don't worry about labels! Read my article here and you'll see why...

    I know you've found me at or if you prefer.

    I think it's great you did a stretch in January, a few days break and, vitally, can get back onto it in Feb. That's the bit I found hardest of all, regrouping and re-starting so well done. I'm a little envious tbh, unless you tell me you wish you'd never done it....x

    1. Hi Rachel. Thank you for your advice. I read of your article and found it really helpful. I think in our hearts we know the answer. It's just that accepting the truth is the hard part. I guess it takes a lot of soul searching and personal growth to accept it and I'm a long way off that. But I am not drinking at the moment and that's something! I didn't find it too hard getting back into it this time but I have before. After a 6 week stint AF I found it really hard to moderate and then stop again (which was January) Hopefully I will get there in the end. Thanks for offering to be my sober buddy. I've never had one before so not sure what I'm supposed to do, but I'm sure I will figure it out as I go along! We are going on our holiday in a few weeks so I might need you then as I know you went on a holiday early in your sobriety. A x