I need to make some changes. Quitting alcohol is wonderful, but there are other areas in my life that need improvement. For example: the INTERNET!! It is such a time waster. I got up this morning, took the little guy to school, got home and had some toast for breakfast, put the tv on, grabbed the laptop and sat on the couch. And there I've been all day. And it's 1.30 in the afternoon!!! Today was washing my hair day (which I hate!) and I had planned to do it straight after breakfast. I thought I'll do that, be on the computer for a bit, then I'll do some work around the house. But no, here I still sit. I finally washed my hair at 12.15, had some lunch, then came back on here.
It has to change! I am getting nothing done around the house, I feel lazy and I am not going to lose any weight sitting on my fat bum all day! It is so depressing. I need to find some motivation and get moving.
It's great that I am not drinking. I wake up tired (up late watching Nashville. God I love that show!!) but not hungover, which is still such a wonderful feeling. I am not hungover tired and miserable. I am not going back to bed and sleeping half the day. But I am not achieving anything else besides being sober. Some people say that is enough in these early stages of sobriety, but I want to do more. I want to feel motivated to improve other areas of my life. I want to have energy and purpose.
I feel stuck in a rut. But how to change?
I've been thinking of giving up the internet, but that's impossible. So, I need to cut back on my time on the computer. God, it feels like I have so many addictions! Diet coke, chocolate, the internet, tv and I am sure there are others. The thought of giving all these things up is overwhelming and impossible. I would really appreciate your thoughts on how to begin. Because I don't want to live this way any more. I can't.
A x
Hug. I just got home from yoga and a new post!
ReplyDeleteYou are still in the healing phase. It's important to let yourself relax. Wo "waste time" doing things that aren't necessarily productive. It helps, I promise.
Your motivation will return. Perhaps you will realize your priorities are different.
Try not to put new rules into place. They never seem to make life nicer or more easy. They just create artificial stress.
As An aside, I get a blow out every week. My hair is thick and curly and impossible. My hairdresser is quick and now my hair looks nice. Dry shampoo and a silk pillowcase get me far.
It's worth every single penny.
How long will I be in this healing phase? I just feel so lazy! I would love to have a blow dry (blow out) once a week but I can't afford it. Maybe I could do it once a month or something though. We'll see. I like the idea of silk pillowcases though. Might have to go and get some! Thanks Anne. A x
DeleteMy weekly b,ow out is wayyyy less expensive than wine was.
DeleteIt's not laziness. It's acceptance. Peace. Relief.
Give yourself permission to be still. You have spent many years doing. A few weeks (or years) of being are vital!
I got my hair trimmed the other day which included a blow dry. It was lovely!
DeleteI agree with Anne! Give yourself time. For now, not drinking is enough. Then you can do the rest - and you will! I also agree with Anne re weekly blow out (we call it a blow dry over here!). It's my new luxury ;-) xxx
ReplyDeleteMaybe not drinking is enough. For now. I just feel like I should be doing more. I used to blame my lack of motivation on my drinking. I thought I would be feeling a bit more motivated by now. I suppose I could look around for a reasonably priced place to have the occasional blow dry. A x
DeleteI'm with Anne too!
ReplyDeleteOr three!
Go very easy on yourself.
If you really want to make another change, pick one thing. Like walking.
Walking is a great exercise, easy to do, and gets you moving!
xo
Wendy
Hi Wendy, I want to walk. I have a problem with my hip though and it is quite painful. I am beginning to feel depressed at not being able to exercise. A x
DeleteGoogle yin yoga and give yourself 30 minutes. Be gentle with the hip. Breathe deeply.
DeleteUsing the breath to relax and open the body has been better for me than years of crossfit.
I've been wanting to do yoga for a long time but I'm not sure I could at the moment. Other people rave about it! I have a dvd I bought for beginners, maybe I should try that?
DeleteTry, but look for a class. So,etching soft and slow.
DeleteThere is something very powerful about taking time to reacquaint yourself with your body in a safe space.
It quiets the mind. And soothes the spirit.
Oh Angie, please just let go for a moment. Let yourself have this short window of lazy indulgence. You are recalibrating a complete reset. Just allow the process to happens. As a child I was told " if, ifs and buts were bolts and nuts nothing would ever get built" just allow...... for now. When a caterpillar goes into the chrysalis it completely dissolves and liquifies before coming together again as a butterfly, it just trusts the process/metamorphosis. You are working on your butterfly status, give it time and go get a blowout/dry. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am going to take your advice Ginger. In the grand scheme of things, it IS a short window isn't it? I really like your butterfly analogy. I like the idea that I am working on my butterfly status. Thanks for that. A x
DeleteHey Angie. I think you should revel in some self-care and lazy time. It's what we darned well need at this stage I think!!! Sorry to hear your hip is bad. Maybe worth trying a few alternative things (chiropractor/osteopath/acupuncture etc) with the wine money you've saved.. big hugs. Red xx
ReplyDeleteI know you are right. I just feel so lazy and unmotivated! I have been thinking about an osteopath, I know they can be very helpful. Thanks for the hugs. A x
Deletegreat advice all around. Give yourself some slack. Don't push yourself too hard. Want to reduce time on the Internet? Tell yourself you will spend just one hour and turn you computer off. Just like that. Structure and discipline. :) Not easy but doable.
ReplyDeleteThanks Time. I will try and be more disciplined. I haven't really tried yet, but I will. A x
DeleteHi Angie! Just chiming in to agree with everyone else here! Sounds like you're doing great. Just not drinking was about all I could do for ages when I first quit, and I waited until i felt like doing more before I did. One piece of advice I got from a friend who suffers serious depression. She finds not being able to get things done really gets he down, so she makes a list of four simple tasks to do in the day, and she said she feels pretty good about herself on rough days when she gets those done. (Simple means "go for a 15 minute walk" or "eat lunch." not "finally start writing that novel." As she puts it, this keeps things ticking over and keeps her in the habit of doing something, however small, and then on better days she gets momentum and gets more done. I'm not sure if that's helpful at all If not please cheerfully ignore!) but it helped me a lot. And no matter what, congrats to you for getting through and staying sober! xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Thirsty, that is great advice. I like the idea of breaking tasks into small, manageable ones. I did this no so long ago when my son's room had gotten out of control and I had to tidy it up for a house inspection. The task as a whole seemed overwhelming, so I told myself, I will just pick up those 4 toys, then those 4 and so on. Before I knew it, the room was tidy. So it may work in other areas of my life. It's certainly worth a try! A x
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