Wednesday, 5 August 2015
Wow! Who would have thought? Certainly not me. 80 days ago I signed up to the 100 day challenge, not really believing in my heart that I could do it. But I wanted to give it a good go. I knew I could do 20 - 30 days. Even 42 at a stretch. But it was getting harder and harder. And I could never keep going. So I thought I'd try 100 days. A good long stretch. But I really wasn't sure if I could do it. No matter I thought, I will give it a try. And here I am, on day 80.
It really does make a difference; being AF for such a lot of days. 30 days isn't long enough to get a real idea of the benefits of not drinking. I am so glad I am doing this, have nearly done it.
But I have to confess, the thought of drinking at the end of my 100 days does pop into my mind from time to time. But I just push them away for now. Crazy I know.
In terms of my sadness (I wrote depression but then deleted it, not sure why?) I am feeling a little better. I still have tearful moments throughout the day, but it's not as bad. It sits in the background, hovering, but I am able to move past it for a while. So hopefully I am getting better. I try not to think about the surgery and what I am going to do. Procrastination is my best friend. Head in the sand, that's me. Dealing with painful emotions is hard, so I try to push them down. I've done it all my life. One day I will explode I'm sure.
Off to dinner with our friends tonight. My friend C has been good about my not drinking, I think she has gotten used to it. We were at her house last weekend for a baby shower and I even told another friend that I wasn't drinking for 100 days. People are a lot more accepting than I thought they'd be. They don't really care actually. I guess it's because they are normal drinkers themselves and have no idea what it's like for problem drinkers.
I'm still waiting for the weight loss to happen. That's the really annoying thing. All those calories from wine not being consumed and I haven't lost any weight. So FRUSTRATING!! I don't get it. I know I'm eating more chocolate, but surely that's not nearly as much calories as a bottle of wine every night? I just don't get it! (It doesn't help that hubby keeps buying chocolate. If it's in the house, I will eat it!)
So that's me. 80 days. Maybe I should get myself a treat?