I used to be a heavy smoker. I quit 10 and a half years ago. And it was bloody hard!!
I used to smoke a packet (of 25's) a day and sometimes more. I quit once for nearly 2 years but took it up again when I went to university as a mature aged student (at 28) Taking it up again was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. I managed to quit for good the second time and it's one of the best thing I've ever done.
The first time I quit, I had been experiencing tingling in my legs and was terrified that they would have to be amputated! (remember I'm a nurse!) So I had good motivation to stop. But it wasn't easy. I wore nicotine patches for a month, gradually reducing the dose until I didn't need them anymore. It was a long time ago, so my memory is poor, but whilst it was hard, I think it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
Trying to quit the 2nd time was harder. I had been smoking for a longer period of time by then and I wanted to stop before falling pregnant. This time, I real Allen Carr's 'Easy way to stop smoking', which totally changed my mindset about smoking, and I quit wearing nicotine patches for only a week this time.
Both times though, it was hard to quit. The passage of time makes me forget exactly how hard it was, but I know it was. It was all I thought about for a long time, but I can't remember how long for.
These days, I don't think about smoking at all. I will walk past someone who blows out a buff of smoke and I will either think 'yuck!' or it may take me back to my smoking days. Other times I don't think about it at all. It's just there.
I don't remember when I stopped thinking about it.
And what I'm wondering is, will it ever be like this with drinking?
Will there come a time when I won't think about it anymore? Or will I always be reading sober blogs and listening to podcasts hosted by people in recovery?
I don't feel like I am in recovery from smoking. But maybe I am? What is different about drinking?
I would love to get to a stage in my life where I don't think about drinking anymore. But I'm not sure if that will happen.
I'm curious to know what other people think about this. What are your thoughts?
A x
I've thought about this, too. I wonder. I think if we do experience a big social change in drinking like we have in smoking, it may be even easier to simply not think about drinking in the future. I know for me, at just over 6 months sober this time around but 2+ years sober out of the past 3 years, I really rarely do want to drink anymore, and outside of looking at blogs, I don't think much about drinking or not drinking at all. When I do feel a pull to drink, I know it's a reaction to something. I feel like I'm getting closer to just not being a drinker. But I am being attentive to the process because I know I live in an alcohol-soaked culture and there are continuous small pressures that signal drinking is good. For me, I think about the sober blog world as a kind of building a culture of resistance. Maybe some day it won't be as necessary. Thanks for being here, and congrats on 121 days! xo
ReplyDeleteYou put it well - being attentive to the process. That what I need to do. Not worry about the future too much. It would be great not to be thinking about drinking all the time. But at this point in my life; 4 months in, this is what I need to be doing. I might be different in the future but time will tell. I am so grateful not to be drinking anymore. A x
DeleteI just want to get to the point where I can stop drinking. Forever. Or at least for a very long time. I quit smoking and somehow I never obsessed about it. Drinking is a very different story. I don't know why quitting smoking is so much easier. Congrats on 121 days! It is a surreal dream for me.
ReplyDeleteI guess they are different addictions. That's all I can think of. You will get there Time. I know you will. Have been thinking about you. A x
DeleteHi Angie,
ReplyDeleteThere are days I don't think about drinking, except when I am reading blogs, or someone is talking about drinking.
But I only feel like a drink once a great while.
I don't know the answer, but my guess is it's different for everyone.
I am glad you gave up smoking! People say that's very hard to do!
Happy Day 121!!!
xo
Wendy
Hi Wendy, yes I guess it is different for everyone. I am glad I gave up smoking too. Such a horrible habit. Maybe one day alcohol will be looked upon like smoking? But somehow I don't think so. Just so glad I am not drinking either. A x
DeleteI don't think about drinking at all, except to occasionally think thank god that's not me anymore.
ReplyDeleteBut every day I wake up and am thankful for my clear and limitless life.
I like my job. I love teaching and practicing yoga. My husband is my friend. My kids are my supports. My life is anything I want it to be.
Next weekend I am going to meet a bunch of sober women in another country! I know some of them, and I know we will all have fun.
I never wanted to be in recovery. I just wanted to quit drinking. But doing that opened up all these possibilities. I can celebrate myself. That is priceless.
Anne
I sometimes get confused with the idea of recovery. Can't I just be a non-drinker? But I think there is more to it than that. I am learning as I go.
DeleteYour weekend with your sober friends sounds fun. Hope you have a great time. I wish I had some sober friends in real life to meet up with. A x